There is no single right prayer for someone who has just died, and any honest words are enough to begin. Many Catholics pray the Eternal Rest, many Orthodox Christians say "Memory eternal," and many Protestant churches thank God for the person's life and pray for the people who loved them. If one prayer is all you want tonight, here is the Eternal Rest as Focus prints it:
A prayer for the people left behind is a prayer too. If your church does not pray for the dead, here is one line in our own words that you can say now: "Thank you, God, for [name]. Comfort all of us who loved them."
Cruse Bereavement Support says the beginning of a sudden or traumatic loss can bring "numbness and shock," and that a person may at first "feel numb or nothing at all." That is a reason a short prayer is enough tonight.
Some nights the room stays lit.
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.
If you only have a minute
One prayer to say now
The Eternal Rest above, or "Thank you, God, for [name]. Comfort all of us who loved them."
A prayer for the people left behind
The Church of Ireland's "Loving God, life is so strange just now," further down.
A psalm
Psalm 130, the psalm many churches pray at a death.
Who to call in the first hours
The hospice number for an expected death, emergency services for an unexpected one, then the funeral director.
Where the help lines are
At the end of this page, with the country named beside each.
What is the best prayer for a deceased person?
Each church has its own words. Catholic prayers come first, then Orthodox, and the next section sets the traditions side by side.
The Archdiocese of Toronto's Catholic Prayers for the Departed prints a longer ending to the Eternal Rest: "May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen." It also prints a prayer for eternal rest that opens "In your hands, O Lord, we humbly entrust our brothers and sisters," and a commendation that begins "I commend you, my dear (name) to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator." Where a prayer leaves room for a name, say the person's name.
Hallow adds the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet and asking a parish for a Mass to be offered for the person. It quotes Pope Francis: "Church tradition has always urged prayer for the dead, in particular by offering the celebration of the Eucharist for them." The Catholic grounding in 2 Maccabees and the Catechism is on what the Bible says about grief, so this page stays with the prayers.
The Orthodox Church in America says prayers are offered "immediately upon the death of an Orthodox Christian." Its prayer for the departed begins "O God of spirits and of all flesh, Who hast trampled down death and overthrown the Devil, and given life to Thy world," and asks God to "give rest to the souls of Thy departed servants in a place of brightness, a place of refreshment, a place of repose."
The Trisagion, the short memorial service, closes with "Grant eternal rest, O Lord, to the soul of Thy departed servant N., and make his/her memory be eternal," and everyone answers "Memory eternal." The Kontakion of the departed is commonly rendered "Give rest, O Christ, to your servant with the saints." Bible verses for the anniversary of a death names the Trisagion too.
In the hours before a priest can come, an Orthodox family may ask for a priest, keep a vigil, and give the person's name to be remembered at the Divine Liturgy.
Should you pray for the dead, or for the people who mourn?
A family can hold both, and nobody reading needs to settle it tonight to pray. Churches differ on this, and the differences can stand side by side.
Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.
| Catholic | For the person who died and for the mourners; the Eucharist is offered "for the faithful departed" (Catechism 1371) | "Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord" |
| Orthodox | For the departed from the moment of death, with memorials on the third, ninth and fortieth days and at the year | "Memory eternal" |
| Episcopal | Commends the person to God and prays for the mourners | "Give rest, O Christ, to your servant(s) with your saints, where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting" |
| Church of England | Prayers "from the time of death until after the Funeral": thanksgiving for the life, prayers for those who mourn, prayers of entrusting and commending | Common Worship |
| Lutheran | Gives thanks for a life, asks God to comfort the mourners, commends the person into God's care | "These prayers, while naming the dead, are for the living." |
| Reformed and Presbyterian | Thanks for the person and prayer for the family; the Westminster Confession says prayer is for people living "but not for the dead" | Thanks and prayer for the family |
| Methodist, Baptist and Pentecostal | Thanks for the life, Scripture or a psalm, and prayer for the family | Plain words in your own voice |
The 1979 Book of Common Prayer also has a prayer for the family: "Father of all, we pray to you for those whom we love, but see no longer."
If you want a pastor beside you, a Lutheran congregation, St. Luke's, says it is appropriate to call the pastor to the place of death to pray with the family. And if your church prays only for the living, you can still say the person's name to God, in thanks.
What is a beautiful prayer for grieving, and the most comforting prayer?
A prayer for the one left behind can be said as it is. From the Church of Ireland's prayers:
Loving God, life is so strange just now, I don’t know what to do. Comfort me with your presence, be with all who grieve and give us strength and courage to face this and all the days ahead.
For somebody far away, or unable to be there, the Church of England's prayer for someone who cannot attend a funeral runs from "Thank you for x, for all that they meant to me and to others" to "And holding me this day." Say the person's name in place of x.
Then there is one passage from Scripture, optional support for the mourner. Psalm 34:18 reads:
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
Bible verses for sudden death reads this verse for the first hours, so here is only new ground. The psalm's heading places it in David's life, at the time he pretended to be insane before Abimelech, who drove him away. That story is told in 1 Samuel 21:10-15, where the king is named Achish.
The Hebrew behind "broken heart" is shevurei lev, which means hearts broken or shattered, in the Blue Letter Bible lexicon. What the verse gives is words to pray for yourself or for the family about where God is tonight. The verses on either side speak of rescue, and they set no date for it.
The verse also carries a question: "What would it mean to let nearness, rather than explanation, be enough today?" You can read Psalm 34:18 with the verses around it once.
What is Psalm 130 for the dead, and what does Psalm 130:7 say?
Psalm 130 is the psalm many churches pray at a death, and it is also a good psalm to pray for a departed soul. Here it is in the World English Bible:
1 Out of the depths I have cried to you, Yahweh. 2 Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my petitions. 3 If you, Yah, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? 4 But there is forgiveness with you, therefore you are feared. 5 I wait for Yahweh. My soul waits. I hope in his word. 6 My soul longs for the Lord more than watchmen long for the morning; more than watchmen for the morning. 7 Israel, hope in Yahweh, for with Yahweh there is loving kindness. With him is abundant redemption. 8 He will redeem Israel from all their sins.
If you know "plenteous redemption," that is the King James Version of verse 7:
Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.
In its own setting the psalm is a Song of Ascents. A living person cries to God from deep trouble, asks forgiveness, waits as watchmen wait for morning, and calls Israel to hope (Sefaria). The Hebrew behind "depths" is a plural for deep places, "wait" carries looking eagerly and hoping, and in verse 7 loving kindness, or mercy, sits beside redemption. The psalm is numbered 129 in the Greek and Latin numbering, and its Latin title, De profundis, comes from its opening words.
It came to be prayed at a death in several traditions. The Catholic Office of the Dead and Requiem tradition pray it as a plea for mercy and rest for the departed, Anglican burial tradition uses it, and Orthodox services use it in some settings (OCA funeral). Martin Luther made it a hymn, "Aus tiefer Not schrei ich zu dir".
What it gives is a psalm that waits, which suits a night of waiting. A Catholic can pray it for the person who died, and a Protestant can pray it as their own cry. One thing to do with it: read verses 5 and 6 aloud once, slowly.
What should you do in the first hours, after the prayer?
Procedures are local, and none of this is legal or medical advice. For an expected death under hospice care, the hospice's own plan names who to call, and that is often the hospice number rather than emergency services. For an unexpected death, call emergency services. As our own idea, look for the hospice number in the folder the hospice left, before you need it.
In the United States, the Social Security Administration says funeral homes generally report a death. If none does, call SSA with the person's name, Social Security number, date of birth and date of death. USA.gov lists who to notify and says certified copies of the death certificate are commonly needed. Death-certificate timing is set by each state, so ask the state office that issues death certificates.
In the United Kingdom, GOV.UK says a death is normally registered within five days in England, Wales and Northern Ireland and within eight days in Scotland, and that the medical certificate of cause of death is needed. Tell Us Once reports a death to several departments at once. For Scotland see mygov.scot, and for Northern Ireland nidirect.
A family member, the hospital, the hospice or the funeral director can call a priest or minister. A hospital or hospice chaplain offers care to people of any faith or none, including prayer when asked, silence, a ritual, or contact with a faith leader (Association of Professional Chaplains).
Other faiths begin differently. Jewish practice starts with the blessing Baruch dayan ha'emet, "Blessed is the true Judge," on hearing of a death, then keriah, the tearing of a garment, and not leaving the body alone. The Mourner's Kaddish praises God's name and is first said after the burial, usually by close relatives (Sefaria; My Jewish Learning). Muslim families often ask for washing, shrouding and prompt burial with the janazah prayer (Muslim chaplains), and Hindu families for prayer, mantras and family presence with the body (Hindu chaplains). As our own idea, tell the hospital the family's faith early.
The first calls can wait a few minutes.
What can you say or text in the first hours, as a prayer?
What to say to someone who lost a loved one and what not to say to someone grieving carry the words to send, so here is only a short prayer message. In our own words, for any family: "I am praying for you tonight, and for all of you who loved him." For a family whose church prays for the dead: "I am praying for her soul and for you. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord." Ask yourself which kind of family it is before sending the second.
What's Your Grief describes the pressure to find perfect words, and the value of naming the loss without trying to explain it.
Some people wanted a prayer and did not know one. On Reddit's r/Catholicism, somebody praying for a man who was not Catholic wrote "I truly want to pray for his soul," and, "I don’t know which ones are only allowed for priest and which ones are allowed for everybody." In another thread on Reddit's r/Catholicism, someone asked, "What does it matter what I say?"
The answer is warm. The Eternal Rest, the Hail Mary and the Psalm 130 above can be prayed by anybody, and plain words in your own voice count.
Some things said kindly land hard. On Reddit's r/GriefSupport, in a thread about the strange things people said, somebody told "They’re in a better place" answered, "Here on earth is a pretty good place too," and the line that helped was, "There are no words, I’m not even going to try to say something about it, I’m just so sorry."
In another thread posted on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, people listed what they could not hear: "Don’t tell me god needed her more than I do," "Don’t tell me everything happens for a reason," and "Don’t tell me things will get better. I hate liars." A 2022 thread on the same Reddit community has "It was their time" and "God had better plans for her." On Reddit's r/AskReddit, one answer to the most unhelpful things to say was "They lived a good long life."
Two more lines people hear: "You must pray for their soul," said to somebody whose church does not, and "Praying for the dead is useless," said to a Catholic or Orthodox mourner. You may recognize something you have already said, and that is common when someone is trying to help.
Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.
| "They're in a better place." | "I am so sorry. I am praying for you, and I am here." |
| "You must pray for their soul." | "Would you like me to pray with you, or just sit with you?" |
| "Praying for the dead is useless." | "Tell me how your family prays. I would like to hear." |
| "It was their time." | "Your grief does not make me uncomfortable." |
The last line in that table also appears on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, in a thread of better things to say: "Your grief does not make me uncomfortable."
When a baby has died
Bible verses for the loss of a child carries 2 Samuel 12:23 and the questions about where a baby is. The prayers, the rites and the help follow.
The Catholic Church has funeral rites for children, including a rite for a child who died before baptism, with prayer, blessing and commendation for the parents and family. Common Worship has a Funeral of a Child. Orthodox churches have a burial service for an infant, set by each jurisdiction. Lutheran materials give prayers of thanksgiving, lament and comfort. Jewish practice may include naming, burial and mourning, by movement and custom.
Hospital chaplains may offer naming, a blessing, baptism where the family asks for it, memory-making and a memorial service. In parts of Latin America a family keeps the nine nights of prayer for a baby as for anyone, and asks for a Mass. In rural Chile, and parts of Argentina and Uruguay, the velorio del angelito is a traditional wake for a young child, with white flowers, a candle, a rosary and singing, as the Biblioteca Nacional de Chile describes it.
In our own words, a prayer for the parents: "God, hold these parents tonight. Be near them in the breaking, and let them not be alone."
Help, with each country named. In the United Kingdom, Sands supports anyone affected by the death of a baby, grandparents and friends included. In the United States, there are the Star Legacy Foundation, SHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support and The Compassionate Friends.
The days after: the nine days, and a good Bible verse for someone who passed away
For many Catholic families in Mexico and across Latin America, the novenario is nine evenings of prayer after the burial, usually a Rosary each night, often with a Mass at nine days and another at the first anniversary, the cabo de año. A Mexican printed rosary for the dead dates from 1732, and practice varies by country, parish and family (Rosario por los difuntos). A family that prays in Spanish can find the Eternal Rest in Spanish on Hallow's Spanish page.
Orthodox families keep the third, ninth and fortieth days, and many Protestant and evangelical families hold a memorial gathering with thanks and prayer for the family.
For a Bible verse for someone who passed away, Bible verses for a funeral carries Psalm 23, Psalm 121, Ecclesiastes 3, John 11 and Revelation 21. Four more, each in its setting, work as words to read at a bedside or in a message.
Psalm 116:15 sits inside a song of thanks after rescue:
Precious in Yahweh’s sight is the death of his saints.
Wisdom 3:1-5 speaks of the righteous in God's hand. Catholic and Orthodox churches count Wisdom as Scripture, and most Protestant churches count it as Apocrypha or outside the Bible, so name your tradition if you read it aloud:
1 But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, And no torment will touch them. 2 In the eyes of the foolish they seemed to have died; And their departure was accounted to be their hurt, 3 And their journeying away from us to be their ruin: But they are in peace. 4 For even if in the sight of men they be punished, Their hope is full of immortality; 5 And having borne a little chastening, they will receive great good; Because God made trial of them, and found them worthy of himself.
In 2 Corinthians 5:1, Paul writes of an earthly tent and a building from God:
For we know that if the earthly house of our tent is dissolved, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal, in the heavens.
And Isaiah 25:8 promises death swallowed up and tears wiped away:
He has swallowed up death forever! The Lord Yahweh will wipe away tears from off all faces. He will take the reproach of his people away from off all the earth, for Yahweh has spoken it.
Paperwork can wait for the morning.
Questions people ask
Can I pray in my own words? Yes. Plain words count, and the Church of Ireland's prayer above begins in just that way: "life is so strange just now, I don’t know what to do."
Who do I call first when someone dies at home? For an expected death under hospice care, the hospice number is usually first. For an unexpected death, call emergency services, and procedures differ by place.
What if the person and I held different beliefs? Chaplains offer care to people of any faith or none, and you can say the person's name to God in thanks whatever your church teaches.
Where to go next
For grief, Cruse Bereavement Support is in the United Kingdom, GriefShare in the United States and elsewhere, The Compassionate Friends in the United States, and the Canadian Virtual Hospice in Canada.
If the death was by suicide, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention asks for the words "died by suicide," and has a page for people who have lost someone. Do people who die by suicide go to heaven is for anyone carrying that question.
If tonight feels too heavy to carry, please reach a person. In the United States, call 988, text 988 or chat with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; Spanish-language help is at 988lifeline.org/es. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline is 13 11 14. In Spain, Línea 024. In Mexico, the Línea de la Vida. In Argentina, the Centro de Asistencia al Suicida. Everywhere else, Colombia included, Find A Helpline lists services by country.
Tonight, say the person's name and one prayer from above, the Eternal Rest or the Church of Ireland's "Loving God." In the morning, make the first call the hospice, hospital or funeral director has given you.
Bible Nudge can take a line about what you are carrying and come back with one passage and the verses around it. Find a passage.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Novenario. Nine evenings of prayer after a burial, kept by many Catholic families in Mexico and Latin America.