Some people come here with the date still weeks away, and some on the night before. One person wrote on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, "Tomorrow is my mother’s death (forever 54) anniversary of one year, I (26 f) don’t really know what to do with myself, I feel broken and I feel numb all at once." Another Reddit user, with a sibling's anniversary approaching, asked for "one piece of advice for the one year death anniversary and also the anticipation and lead up to it". Whether it is the first year or the twentieth, the passage Bible Nudge offers for grief is Psalm 34:18, and it is short enough to read on the morning of the day.
If you only have a minute
Read the night before or that morning
Psalm 34:17-19, with verse 18 at its center.
The weeks before
Bereavement charities describe the lead up as often being hard.
The day itself
Mark it, let it pass, or something between. Any of them is enough.
For someone else
Send their person's name, one verse and a line of your own, and ask for no reply.
Psalm 34:18, for the night before or the morning of
17 The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out of them all.
The verses on either side speak of rescue out of trouble, and verse 18 sits between them in the present tense: near now, to a heart that is broken now. What the psalm does not give is a timescale. It measures nobody against a calendar, whether a year has passed or five. One way to use it is to read the three verses once before you do anything else that day, then say the name of the person you lost.
Bible verses for the loss of a parent reads the verse in full, and if a line or two is all you can manage today, short Bible verses for grief is written for that.
Why the weeks before can be hard
Bereavement charities say this plainly. A Cruse leaflet says, "The first birthdays and anniversaries following a death can be particularly difficult times." What's Your Grief names "an immense amount of anxiety as the day approaches." Marie Curie says, "You might feel worse around the time of important anniversaries or life events."
If you are past the first year, Cruse's page on time passing adds that "some people find the second year even harder." For the later months, read grief that comes back months later.
The date can be felt long before it arrives.
What to do with the day
What's Your Grief says people respond "in varying ways," and names making plans, letting the day come, and waiting it out. On Reddit's r/widowers, one person asked, "im just wondering what all of you guys did for the first anniversary of your persons death", and one reply in that thread was simply, "I refuse to acknowledge that day."
If a small plan would help, here is one you can change as you like: read Psalm 34:15-19 once in the morning, say the person's name aloud, visit a place that was theirs, cook a meal they liked, or keep a quiet day with the phone off. Each is something people do, and any one of them is enough.
Grief that Israel returned to
No passage commands keeping the anniversary of a death, but Scripture does record people coming back to a grief over time. In 2 Chronicles 35, King Josiah is shot by archers at Megiddo, carried to Jerusalem, and dies. "All Judah and Jerusalem mourned for Josiah." Then:
Jeremiah lamented for Josiah, and all the singing men and singing women spoke of Josiah in their lamentations to this day; and they made them an ordinance in Israel. Behold, they are written in the lamentations.
Benson, in the BibleHub collection, understands the singers as singing the lament "on certain fixed days." That collection and the Translation Bible note both say "the lamentations" here is not necessarily the book of Lamentations. It is a record of what one people did: going back to a grief has company in the text.
David did something similar. He "lamented with this lamentation over Saul and over Jonathan his son," and "commanded them to teach the children of Judah the song of the bow" (2 Samuel 1:17-18). Matthew Henry gives two readings, instruction in "the use of the bow" or teaching "the elegy itself," and prefers the second. Barnes reads "the bow" as the name of the dirge, to be learned by heart. Either way, a lament was kept so it could be said again. Bible verses for the loss of a friend reads the lament itself.
How some traditions keep the day
My Jewish Learning explains, "Yahrzeit is a Yiddish word meaning anniversary of a death." It is kept on the Hebrew date, with a candle that traditionally burns for 25 hours and the Mourner's Kaddish in synagogue; its rabbinic Q and A calls the candle a custom and Kaddish the legal focus.
The USCCB quotes the General Instruction of the Roman Missal: "A Mass for the Dead, on receiving the news of a death, for the final burial, or the first anniversary, may be celebrated," within the calendar's limits. The Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America describes the Trisagion as "a brief memorial service celebrated by a priest on behalf of deceased Orthodox Christians," offered each year with a larger Memorial Service, the Mnemosyna, and a parish guideline adds kolyva at the first year. Protestant churches have no single shared rite, so a Protestant might ask their minister about a prayer or a visit. Whatever your tradition, ask the priest, rabbi or minister a week or two ahead, since a Mass or memorial needs arranging.
Words for a card, a notice or a short reading
USCCB funeral resources offer Psalm 23, John 14:1-6 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 among others. Dignity Funerals' reading sheet in the UK lists Psalm 23, John 14:1-3, Philippians 1:21-23 and Revelation 21:1-7. Bible Sundays' memorial-card page names Psalm 23:4, Revelation 21:4 and John 14:2-3.
Psalm 23 is a whole psalm about Yahweh as shepherd, and verse 4 reads, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." John 14 is Jesus speaking to his disciples, "In my Father’s house are many homes," before Thomas asks, "How can we know the way?" Revelation 21 is a vision of a new heaven and a new earth, where "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes," and verse 7 begins "He who overcomes." 1 Thessalonians 4 was written to a church about members who had died, and verse 14 speaks of "those who have fallen asleep in Jesus." Each carries its own conditions, and you can decide how it fits the person you lost.
The Grief record set Revelation 21:4 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13 aside as first passages in fresh grief; what the Bible says about grief gives the reasons, and Bible verses for a funeral has more readings.
Marking the date for somebody else
Cruse is direct: "Those who are grieving often dread these events. They will appreciate others remembering the person who died at these times." Its page on time passing quotes a bereaved person: "It's nice to know that friends and family remember days that might be hard for you; birthdays, anniversaries etc. and get in touch to offer support, without expecting a reply." It notes that by the second year "Others around them are starting to forget or may even feel that they should be over it by now." One person wrote on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, "My mom's one year death anniversary came and went...and I'm the only one who remembered."
A message can be short. Name the person who died, send Psalm 34:18 with a line of your own, and say they need not reply. What to say to someone who lost a loved one and what not to say to someone grieving go further.
A few lines, sent on the day.
When a year in still feels this strong
The charities above describe a hard anniversary as common. Diagnosis is a separate matter. ICD-11 6B42 describes prolonged grief as a response that "has persisted for an atypically long period of time following the loss (more than 6 months at a minimum)." The APA describes DSM-5-TR as requiring "severe grief reactions that persist at least 12 months (6 months in children or adolescents)." Both also require that the grief impair daily life and go beyond cultural, social or religious norms. If grief is stopping you from getting through ordinary days, a doctor or a bereavement service can talk it through with you.
Questions people ask
Is it normal for the weeks before to be worse than the day? The charities above describe the approach of an anniversary as hard for many people. None of them sets a pattern everyone follows.
Does the Bible say to mark the anniversary of a death? No passage commands it. 2 Chronicles 35 records singers lamenting Josiah "to this day," and Jewish, Catholic and Orthodox practice each keep the date in their own way.
What if I would rather let the day pass? What's Your Grief lists waiting it out among the ways people respond.
Where to go next
If grief has turned into despair or thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person tonight. In the United States, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8. In the UK and Republic of Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline is 13 11 14. Anywhere else, Find A Helpline lists lines by country. For bereavement support, Cruse is on 0808 808 1677 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and the Marie Curie Support Line is 0800 090 2309 in the UK.
On the morning of the day, read Psalm 34:18 with the verses around it.
Or describe what you are carrying in your own words, and Bible Nudge can suggest a single passage with its setting. Find a passage.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Yahrzeit. The Jewish anniversary of a death, kept on the Hebrew date with a candle and the Mourner's Kaddish.