No. Nobody is condemned here for marrying again after a husband or wife has died. The churches that speak to it directly say a widowed person is free to marry, and some of them add conditions or a different service of their own.
Two voices say it plainly. John Piper, in a 2017 Desiring God interview, reads Romans 7:2-3 to say "if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage," and reads 1 Corinthians 7:39 as permission "free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord." Catholic Answers says, "If someone was married and his or her spouse dies, the widow or widower is considered free to marry."
You may be a widow or widower who has met someone, or who wonders whether you could, and who feels guilt or disloyalty about it. You may have been told you will be married to your first husband or wife in heaven. You may be raising small children after a young death, or have grown children, in-laws or a church with opinions. You may be quietly wondering about a pension or a ring, or be engaged to someone who is widowed.
Underneath the word "sin," the question is often about loyalty, heaven and timing. Each has a section below.
If you are also asking about divorce or annulment, is it a sin to remarry after divorce sets widowed, divorced and annulled side by side. Everything below is about a husband or wife who has died.
If you only have a minute
The short answer
Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 are read by many churches as freeing a widowed person to marry.
Heaven
Matthew 22:30 answers a question about the resurrection, and traditions read it differently.
Money
Ask your pension office, "If I marry on this date, what happens to my payment?" before a date is set.
Your church
Catholic, Orthodox and Jewish teaching each has its own steps; ask your priest, minister or rabbi.
For the guilt
You can love someone new and still love the person you lost.
Does the Bible say you can remarry after your spouse dies?
Paul writes in Romans 7 to readers who know the law, and he uses a widow's release at her husband's death to explain release from the law itself:
1 Or don’t you know, brothers (for I speak to men who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man for as long as he lives? 2 For the woman that has a husband is bound by law to the husband while he lives, but if the husband dies, she is discharged from the law of the husband. 3 So then if, while the husband lives, she is joined to another man, she would be called an adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is no adulteress, though she is joined to another man.
Some commentators take the marriage language as a direct description of the bond, so that death releases a spouse. Others take it as an analogy that carries only as much as Paul's argument needs. Both readings stand, and Piper's reading above is the first.
First Corinthians 7 speaks to widowed people directly. Verses 8 and 9 are Paul's words to the unmarried and widows, and verse 39 is the one most people reach for:
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. 9 But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn.
39 A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she stays as she is, in my judgment, and I think that I also have God’s Spirit.
Bible verses for waiting for a spouse reads verse 39 for widowed readers, so here it gets one line: the wife is free to marry, "only in the Lord." Readers weigh two things in it. The closing phrase is taken to mean marrying another Christian, a marriage under Christian allegiance, or the manner of the marriage. And verse 40, which Paul labels his own judgment, is read either as permission with a stated preference, or as permission set against the hardship Paul expected in his day.
A slow morning with the questions that come up.
First Timothy 5:3-16 is Paul's instruction to a church about honoring and supporting widows. He sets an age of sixty for a particular list, and he counsels the younger widows to marry. The Greek for "younger widows" is neōterai chērai, and the verb for "to marry" is gameō.
I desire therefore that the younger widows marry, bear children, rule the household, and give no occasion to the adversary for insulting.
Then there are the widows in the story, reported for what the text records. In Ruth 1 to 4, Ruth is widowed, and Ruth 4 records Boaz taking her as his wife before the elders.
So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife; and he went in to her, and Yahweh enabled her to conceive, and she bore a son.
Deuteronomy 25:5-10 describes a brother-in-law's duty to the widow of a brother who died without a son, with a sandal ceremony if he refuses. That is a duty inside one family, not a rule for every widowed person. Sefaria has the Jewish law of yibbum, levirate marriage, and halitzah, the release ceremony.
5 If brothers dwell together, and one of them dies, and has no son, the wife of the dead shall not be married outside to a stranger. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her, and take her as his wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. 6 It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall succeed in the name of his brother who is dead, that his name not be blotted out of Israel.
Anna, in Luke 2:36-37, is a widow who stayed in the temple and served with fasting and prayer. She is there as a contrast: the text records her widowhood and her life of prayer as they were.
36 There was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher (she was of a great age, having lived with a husband seven years from her virginity, 37 and she had been a widow for about eighty-four years), who didn’t depart from the temple, worshiping with fastings and petitions night and day.
One person in r/OpenChristian put it this way, in a thread posted on Reddit: "Fun fact: parts of the Bible actually command certain people to remarry after their spouse dies."
Will I lose survivor benefits if I remarry?
Many readers are embarrassed to ask this, and it is a fair question. The answer depends on the country and the scheme, so each body is named below with its official page, and your own case is for that body to answer.
In the United States, the Social Security Administration's handbook says, "If you remarry before age 60, you will not be entitled to survivor's benefits," with stated exceptions. Remarriage after 60 generally leaves widow or widower benefits in place, and for a disabled widow or widower the age in the rule is 50, according to the SSA's eligibility page. Survivor benefits can be up to 100 percent of the deceased worker's benefit at full retirement age for survivors, and less if claimed earlier, as the SSA's amount page explains.
In the United Kingdom, Bereavement Support Payment is described on GOV.UK. Ask GOV.UK how a new marriage or civil partnership affects that payment, the State Pension and any pension from the late spouse.
In Canada, ask Service Canada how the CPP survivor's pension treats a new marriage or partnership. In Australia, ask Services Australia the same about the specific payment you receive.
In Spain, the Seguridad Social's pension de viudedad page says the pension generally requires "no haber formado un nuevo matrimonio o unión de hecho tras su fallecimiento," which means not having formed a new marriage or domestic partnership after the death. Its FAQ gives the exception: "Se podrá mantener el derecho de la pensión de viudedad, aunque el pensionista contraiga nuevo matrimonio, siempre que se acrediten los siguientes requisitos," meaning the right to the pension can continue after a new marriage if certain requirements are met.
Those requirements include being over 61, or younger with a recognized permanent disability or a disability above 65 percent. The pension must be the main or only income, at least 75 percent of annual income. And the new marriage's annual income, pension included, must stay within twice the annual minimum wage.
In Mexico, an IMSS procedures document from 2018 or earlier describes a widowhood pensioner who marries choosing between a lump sum of three years of the pension and keeping the pension. Put that to the IMSS as a question, through its pension application page. Members of ISSSTE, and pensioners of ANSES in Argentina, should ask their own scheme how a marriage or living as a couple (concubinato) affects the pension.
Here is a habit that may save you worry. Write down one question, "If I marry on this date, what happens to my payment?", and ask it of your pension office before a date is set.
When your husband or wife dies, are you still married, and what about heaven?
Behind "Do husband and wife live together in heaven?" and "Can I still kiss my husband in heaven?" is a worry that a second marriage will cost something with the first. The texts and traditions say a little about it, and this section labels which is which.
The setting is Matthew 22, Mark 12 and Luke 20. Sadducees, who denied the resurrection, take the brother's duty from Deuteronomy 25 and build a case of one woman married in turn to seven brothers, to make the resurrection look absurd. Jesus answers their question about the resurrection, and then argues from God being the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
28 In the resurrection therefore, whose wife will she be of the seven? For they all had her.” 29 But Jesus answered them, “You are mistaken, not knowing the Scriptures, nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like God’s angels in heaven. 31 But concerning the resurrection of the dead, haven’t you read that which was spoken to you by God, saying, 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?’ God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.”
For when they will rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
34 Jesus said to them, “The children of this age marry, and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy to attain to that age and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage. 36 For they can’t die any more, for they are like the angels, and are children of God, being children of the resurrection.
The Greek verbs are gameō, to marry, and gamizō, to give a woman in marriage. Jesus is answering a question about the resurrection, which is why Catholic, Orthodox, Reformed and evangelical commentators read the passage as about the age to come rather than as a ruling for a widowed person deciding about marriage now.
The traditions can be given in a few sentences. Catholic, Orthodox, Reformed, Lutheran, Anglican and many evangelical churches describe marriage as a covenant for this life that ends at death. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches temple sealing and eternal marriage, and its handbook sets out procedures for widows and widowers who marry again, including written-consent provisions in some cases. The two use the word marriage differently, so your own church is the one to ask what it teaches.
What heaven holds is left with God.
The fear itself was put in a Reddit thread in r/Christianity: "I can’t understand why Christians would want to remarry if you believe your soulmate is waiting up there in heaven for you, wouldn’t they be kinda pissed off with you." Two replies in the same thread answer from the other side: "It is acceptable to God and not a sin to date & remarry." and "Death terminates the marriage arrangement."
What heaven holds for any person is between that person and God, and the passages do not say whether a first or second spouse is there as a spouse. Continuing bonds offers a way to hold both. Klass, Silverman and Nickman's book Continuing Bonds (1996) describes a lasting inner connection with the person who died, one a person carries into later relationships. For you, that means the love for your first spouse can stay where it is.
Does God recognize a second marriage, and will a church marry me?
Each church speaks in its own words, and they are listed here in no ranking.
Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.
| Catholic | The widow or widower "is considered free to marry" (Catholic Answers) | The parish, about marriage preparation |
| Orthodox | The Church "does not advocate second or third marriages, even for widows or widowers," but permits them; the order of a second or third marriage "bears a penitential character"; a fourth is forbidden (OCA, On Marriage) | Your priest, about the service |
| Jewish | Sets its own timing for a mourner who marries again (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 392) | A rabbi |
| Anglican, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal | Each congregation sets its own preparation | The minister where you hope to marry |
For a Catholic widow or widower, the step is to ask the parish what marriage preparation asks for. That can include documentary proof of the first spouse's death in the prenuptial inquiry. For an Orthodox widow or widower, the practical meaning is a different service, arranged with the priest.
For the others, ask the minister of the church where you hope to marry: "What does your church ask of a widowed person who wants to marry here?"
If you are asking whether a widowed person may marry in church or by a civil ceremony, two terms are worth knowing, certificado de defunción (death certificate) and expediente matrimonial (the marriage file a parish prepares). Ask the parish and the civil registry where you live what they need from you.
On timing, the timing is your own to weigh with the people who know you. The mourning days families keep are covered in how long should you grieve according to the Bible.
If loving someone new feels like betraying them
If you feel guilt, or a sense of being disloyal, many widowed people describe the same pull between the person they lost and the person in front of them. What you feel, and when, stays with you.
Deborah Carr's 2004 study of older widows and widowers, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (the paper is online), reports that six months after the loss, men with low or average support from friends were more likely than women to want to remarry someday. It also describes widowers as more likely than widows to remarry. That is an association in one study of older widowed people, and it is also the closest answer to the search about how many widows remarry.
The same r/Christianity thread on Reddit holds the other side in one line: "I doubt I could bring myself to remarry if my then wife died." Both of those are real, and neither is a rule for you.
Here is a sentence offered as this site's own wording: "You can love someone new and still love the person you lost."
If you want a prayer for yourself, or for a friend who has lost her husband, you could begin with this one, written for this page: "God, I miss them. I do not know what comes next. Stay near me while I find out."
The passage Bible Nudge offers for grief can serve here as words for the loss, apart from any question of whether or when to marry. It is Psalm 34:18, with the verses around it on its setting page:
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
Psalm 34 is a song of praise formed in hardship, and it holds suffering and God's attentive presence together. Verse 18 names nearness for the brokenhearted in the present tense, with the rescue in verses 17 and 19 on either side and no schedule for grief. Something to do: read it once, aloud, with the name of the person you lost, and hold this question: "What would it mean to let nearness, rather than explanation, be enough today?"
Bible verses for grief and healing reads healing and the five stages of grief.
Your children, their family, and your wedding ring
People have handled these questions in many ways, and each is a choice you can make or change. People react in many ways, and it can take time.
The questions families bring are whether a child will see a new partner as a replacement, whether an adult child or the late spouse's family will see it as disloyal, and whether to include the first spouse's family in a second wedding. Two things you might do, as this site's own ideas: tell the children yourself, in your own words, and leave room for their answer; and invite the late spouse's family in person.
On "Can I still wear my wedding ring after my spouse dies?", widowed people describe a range of choices:
- keeping it on
- moving it to the other hand
- wearing it on a chain
- giving it to a child
- keeping it in a drawer
At a second wedding, some couples include a photograph, a candle or a mention of the first spouse. Others do not, and either is an ordinary choice.
Some people keep it close, some put it away.
For company with other widowed people, two communities are Soaring Spirits International and Modern Widows Club.
Dating again, and the scams aimed at widowed people
"What not to do after losing a spouse?" has a practical answer that widowed people describe themselves. In a thread posted on Reddit in r/widowers in June 2026, one person wrote, "I recently discovered that I was the victim of a military romance scam." The post continues, "The person found me through a chat space for widows and used my loss to gain my trust." And another line from the same post: "I’ve had 2 people, message me on Reddit after I joined this group."
In the United States, the Federal Trade Commission describes a romance scam as a false romantic identity that builds trust and then asks for money or financial information. In the United Kingdom, Action Fraud publishes a romance-scam warning, and in Australia so does Scamwatch.
One plain habit, as this site's own wording: money and bank details stay out of any relationship with someone you have only met online, and one person you trust hears about anybody new. These scams target grief, and you may know someone they reached. These scams reach careful people too.
What people say to widowed people, and what to say instead
Some things said to widowed people land hard. You may have said one yourself, and the better line is there to use from now on. The lines in the right column are this site's own wording.
Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.
| "You must wait a certain amount of time." | "Take the time you need, and nobody else's." |
| "He would want you to move on," or "She would not want you to be alone," said as a ruling | "There is room in your life for both of them." |
| "You're replacing her." | "I'm glad you have someone to share the evenings with." |
| "You'll lose his pension anyway." | "Ask the pension office one question before you set a date, and I'll come with you." |
| Matthew 22:30, used to say the first marriage is over or that you will be alone | "Nobody knows more than the text says, and it was an answer about the resurrection." |
| "God took him so you could find someone new." | "I'm here, whatever you decide." |
Two real examples are worth hearing. In r/OpenChristian, on Reddit, someone wrote, "The church basically said if she remarried it would be a sin and she couldn’t preach." In r/TrueChristian, on Reddit, one person wrote, "My position has been that remarriage in that situation would be adultery," and a reply in the same thread answered, "It is absolute lawful for a spouse to remarry after his spouse dies."
Questions people ask
Is it a sin to date after my spouse dies? Romans 7:2-3 and 1 Corinthians 7:39 are read by many churches as freeing a widowed person to marry, and the churches named above allow it. Dating is a question for your own timing and conscience, with the people who know you.
Do I have to remarry? No. Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7:40 show that staying single is also an ordinary choice, and Catholic Answers treats remarriage as a choice.
Can a widow or widower marry in a church? Often, yes, with steps that depend on the church. Ask the parish or minister what they require, and ask the civil registry where you live what the law requires.
Where to go next
This week, write down the one question that is really holding you back, about your church, your pension or your family, and take it to the person who can answer it. Tonight, if you want words for the grief itself, read Psalm 34:18 once.
If a heavy night has turned into thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person tonight. In the United States, call 988 or text 988, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8, as described by the Government of Canada. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In Spain, the Línea 024 is on 024. In Argentina, the national mental health line is on 0800 999 0091. In Colombia, the Línea 106 is on 106. Anywhere else, Mexico included, Find A Helpline lists services by country.
If what you are carrying is not quite this, Bible Nudge can take a line about it in your own words and come back with one passage and what surrounds it. Find a passage.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Levirate marriage (*yibbum*). The duty in Deuteronomy 25 for a brother to marry the widow of a brother who died without a son. Halitzah is the ceremony that releases him from it.