Is It a Sin to Remarry After Divorce?

If your marriage ended because you were being hurt

If you left because you were being hurt, or you are still not safe, these come before any question about a wedding. Each one is free to contact:

• United States: the National Domestic Violence Hotline
• United Kingdom: Refuge and the National Domestic Abuse Helpline
• Australia: 1800RESPECT
• Spain: the 016 line of the Ministerio de Igualdad
• Mexico: the Red Nacional de Refugios
• Argentina: Línea 144
• Colombia, Bogotá area: the Línea Púrpura Distrital, 01 8000 112 137, as listed by the Global Network of Women's Shelters

For free legal information about the divorce itself, there is LawHelp.org in the United States, Citizens Advice in the United Kingdom, and Legal Aid NSW in New South Wales, Australia.

The United Methodist Social Principles put it plainly: faithfulness in marriage does not require staying in physical or mental abuse. If that was your marriage, Bible verses for healing after divorce has a fuller section for somebody who left, including staying safe afterward.

What does the Bible say about getting married again after a divorce?

People also ask what Jesus himself said about divorce. Either way, the answer begins with a handful of passages, and each one was spoken into a particular setting.

In Matthew 19, Pharisees come to Jesus and ask, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?” That phrase belonged to a live argument of the time. The school of Shammai allowed divorce only for serious sexual misconduct, and the school of Hillel allowed it for much more, a dispute recorded in Mishnah Gittin 9:10. Jesus answers from Genesis: “What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart.” When they ask why Moses allowed a certificate of divorce, he says it was “because of the hardness of your hearts.”

Then comes the saying behind the questions “Which Bible verse says that a divorced person cannot remarry?” and “Why does Jesus say not to marry a divorced woman?” In Matthew 19:9 it reads: “I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.” It is spoken about a husband who divorces his wife, and it names the man who marries her, inside that argument over how easily a man could send a wife away.

Matthew 5:31-32 gives the same teaching with the same exception: “whoever puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress.” Mark and Luke carry the saying without the exception. Mark 10:11-12 reads, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. If a woman herself divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery,” and Luke 16:18 is shorter still. Bible verses for healing after divorce gives Mark's two settings, the Pharisees “testing him” and the disciples asking again “in the house,” in a sentence.

The Greek word behind “sexual immorality” is porneia, and it is read three ways. Some take it to mean sexual unfaithfulness, so that the exception allows divorce and remarriage after adultery. Others take it to mean an unlawful union, a marriage that should never have been made. Others read the clause as allowing separation without allowing a new marriage. All three readings are held, in different places, across Catholic, Orthodox, Reformed, Baptist and Anglican commentary.

Paul takes up the question in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. First he passes on a command, “not I, but the Lord,” that a wife should not leave her husband, “but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband.” Then he gives his own judgment, “I, not the Lord,” for a believer married to somebody who does not share the faith. If that spouse leaves, he writes, “let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.”

Stricter readers take verse 15 to free a person from forcing a marriage to continue once the other person has gone. Wider Reformed, Baptist and Wesleyan readers take it to free them to marry again. These passages pull in different directions, and the churches read them differently, which is why the sections below give each church's answer in its own words.

Some conversations start at the kitchen table.

Does God forgive remarriage after divorce?

Under “Is divorce and remarriage an unforgivable sin?”, “Can you go to heaven if you divorce and remarry?” and “When does God forgive divorce?” sits one worry: whether you still belong. Nobody can give a verdict for God on your life. Three churches do speak directly to belonging, and their words sit well side by side.

The Assemblies of God position paper says divorced and remarried Christians belong to the people of God, even where the exceptions it recognizes do not apply. The Catholic Catechism, in paragraph 1651, says divorced people in a new civil union should not regard themselves as separated from the Church, and that they should receive pastoral care. The United Methodist Social Principles say “Divorce does not preclude remarriage,” and that divorced people should not be denied church ministries.

On the United Methodist Church's 2017 page on divorce, Rev. Felicia Hopkins, a United Methodist pastor, says of her own divorce, “What happened to me was sad, but I was welcomed in my church.”

Many people asking these questions were left, deceived or hurt, and carry no wrong that needs forgiving. If that is you, your question is really what your church allows, and the next section takes that church by church.

If you do carry regret about your own part, the passage Bible Nudge offers for guilt and regret is Psalm 103:8-12, here for you alone. Psalm 103 is a psalm of praise recalling God's character. In the World English Bible, with the two verses that follow it:

8 Yahweh is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness. 9 He will not always accuse; neither will he stay angry forever. 10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor repaid us for our iniquities. 11 For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his loving kindness toward those who fear him. 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 Like a father has compassion on his children, so Yahweh has compassion on those who fear him. 14 For he knows how we are made. He remembers that we are dust.

What it gives you is a description of what God has already done with what a person carries. It is written in the past tense, and it leaves nothing further to perform. Read Psalm 103:8-12 once, slowly, and hold its question: “What are you still holding that this says has already been carried away?” These are words for regret, to keep for yourself. Bible verses for guilt and shame explains why 1 John 1:9 and Psalm 51 were set aside for this.

Does God recognize a second marriage, or bless one?

The practical questions run the same way: what happens if I divorce and marry again, what does the church say about divorced and remarried people, and can an evangelical church marry a divorced person? What each church can tell you is what it recognizes and whether it will hold the wedding. Each answer below is in the church's own words, listed in no order of preference:

The Catholic answer needs one more step of explanation, because it is the one most often misunderstood. Canon 1141 of the Code of Canon Law says a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved by any human power or for any cause other than death. A civil divorce changes your legal status, but the Church does not treat it as ending a valid marriage. The way to a Catholic wedding is a declaration of nullity, a finding that a valid bond was never formed in the first place. The Catechism says “the Church, having examined the situation, can declare the nullity of a marriage.” That is a different thing from a Catholic divorce.

In 2015 Pope Francis added a shorter process for clear cases in Mitis Iudex Dominus Iesus. Cost and length vary by diocese, and some dioceses publish the process as free, so your step is to ask your parish priest or the diocesan tribunal what applies where you live. A year later, in Amoris Laetitia 291, he wrote, “The Church must accompany with attention and care the weakest of her members, who frequently show signs of wounded and troubled love, by restoring in them hope and confidence.”

If you are Catholic and divorced, you are in large company. Pew Research Center's 2015 report says that 25 percent of US Catholic adults had been through a divorce, and 26 percent of divorced Catholics said they or their former spouse had sought an annulment.

In Spanish, divorciados vueltos a casar is the usual Catholic phrase for people who are divorced and civilly remarried, and the Catecismo is there in Spanish. Evangelical churches answer by denomination, by the cause of the earlier divorce and by the local pastor's policy. The Asambleas de Dios Spanish pages speak of divorcio y nuevo matrimonio.

One distinction helps more than any other here. A civil marriage can be fully valid in law while one church does not recognize it sacramentally, or will not celebrate a second wedding. When somebody says a marriage is or is not "recognized," it matters whether they mean the state or a particular church, because the two use the word differently. Bible verses for a broken heart has a short section on where three churches stand, if you want it in fewer words.

If your husband or wife left, was unfaithful, or hurt you

This is where the questions “Biblical grounds for remarriage after divorce” and “Can a divorced woman remarry according to the Bible?” usually come from. The churches speak to it in their own terms.

The Westminster Confession, at 24.5 and 24.6, says that after adultery “it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce,” and that after the divorce that person may marry another “as if the offending party were dead.” The Presbyterian Church in America applies the same language to desertion. The United Methodist Social Principles say divorce may be necessary when a marriage is destructive or the spouses are irrevocably estranged. The Assemblies of God recognizes divorce under narrow biblical exceptions, and the freedom to remarry wherever it recognizes the divorce.

An older passage sometimes comes into this. Exodus 21:10-11 tells a husband who takes another wife that he “shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marital rights,” and if he fails in these three, “she may go free without paying any money.” Jewish commentators connect those three duties with grounds for release from a marriage. Christian commentators differ over whether this ancient law speaks to Christian divorce at all.

Churches use the words abuse, adultery, abandonment and "innocent party" in different ways. The person who did not choose the divorce is the case the traditions answer least alike. That makes your own pastor or priest the person to ask, with the whole story told, including the parts that are hard to say. The judgment of your own divorce belongs with you and your church.

Some questions are easier to ask in person.

How long after divorce can you remarry?

Three practical questions tend to follow, and each has a plain answer.

What is the 5 year remarry rule?

The waiting the churches ask for is a conversation with the minister, premarital preparation or a review of the earlier marriage, and for Catholics a declaration of nullity. The Catholic Catechism and Code of Canon Law, the Orthodox Church in America, the Church of England and the Assemblies of God position paper set no five-year wait. Civil waiting periods belong to the country or state where you marry, so the civil registry or registrar is the place to ask about those, and the church where you hope to marry is the place to ask about its own requirements.

Is it a sin to marry a divorced man or woman?

The question “Will God forgive me for marrying a divorced man?” comes from the person on the other side of the engagement. The same church rules cover both of you. A Catholic wedding asks about any earlier marriage of either partner, and the Episcopal canon asks for evidence that an earlier marriage was dissolved. You can go to the church together and ask together.

Remarrying the same person

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 forbids a first husband to take back a wife who has since married another man and then been divorced or widowed: “her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife.” Its ban concerns a return after a marriage to somebody else in between. Jeremiah 3:1 uses that law as an image for Israel and God: “If a man puts away his wife, and she goes from him, and becomes another man’s, should he return to her again?”

Hosea 3:1-3 has the prophet take back an unfaithful wife, which some commentators read as a prophetic sign and others as something wider. And 1 Corinthians 7:11, above, names being “reconciled to her husband.” Those are the passages, and the readings of them stay open.

Is it a sin to remarry after a spouse dies?

If you are widowed, your case is a different one, and it helps to see the three situations side by side:

In Romans 7:1-3, Paul uses the widow's freedom to illustrate an argument about the law: “if the husband dies, she is discharged from the law of the husband.” The release he describes comes with a death. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says the same in a line, “if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord,” and Bible verses for waiting for a spouse reads it for a widow hoping to marry again.

If you are divorced por lo civil and hope to marry in church

Two questions sit here: can you marry in church if you are already divorced in civil law, and is it better to separate or to divorce? The answer depends on the country, because civil marriage and church marriage are handled differently in each.

In Spain, a church wedding can carry civil effect under the concordat and registration rules, and a person divorced por lo civil who wants a Catholic wedding takes the earlier marriage to the parish priest and the diocesan tribunal (Conferencia Episcopal Española). In Mexico, civil marriage belongs to the Registro Civil, and a church wedding does not replace the civil act.

In Argentina, the civil registry records civil marriage, and a civil divorce is separate from a Catholic declaración de nulidad (Argentina.gob.ar). In Colombia, civil and religious marriage have separate procedures, and some religious marriages gain civil recognition when they are registered (Registraduría Nacional del Estado Civil). Anulación is the everyday word many people use for the Catholic declaración de nulidad.

Separation can leave the civil marriage in place, while a divorce ends it. Which suits your family is something to talk through with a lawyer or a legal aid service in your country. For company along the way, DivorceCare runs church-based support groups for people who are divorced or separated.

Things people say, and kinder words to use instead

Some lines said to divorced and remarried people land hard. You may have heard them, and you may have said one yourself at some point. Beside each is a line of our own.

"You are living in adultery" is sometimes said to a person whose husband or wife walked out. A kinder line is ours: "Your church may have a rule about this, and you are welcome to ask it plainly."

"God hates divorce" is often used as a verdict on divorced people. Malachi 2:13-16 is spoken to husbands who dealt treacherously with their wives, and translations render verse 16 differently: the World English Bible has “For I hate divorce,” and the King James “he hateth putting away.” The Reina-Valera 1909, the classic Spanish Bible, reads “él aborrece que sea repudiada,” the sending away of a wife. Bible verses for healing after divorce reads it in its setting. In its place, try our line: "I don't know what your church will say, and I'm glad you're asking instead of carrying it by yourself."

In place of "You must wait five years," the churches above ask for a conversation, preparation or a review of the earlier marriage, and the church you hope to marry in can tell you its own. "Just get an annulment" treats a civil divorce and a declaration of nullity as the same thing, when they are not. "Your marriage is not real" leaves out whether civil law, canon law or one church's recognition is meant. And to a child of a remarriage who has heard "Your children are illegitimate," our line is simpler: "Your family is a family."

Questions people ask

These come up often, and each answer adds something the sections above leave out.

Can I take Communion if I am divorced?

In the Catholic Church, a divorce on its own does not bar you from the sacraments. The Catechism, in paragraph 1650, places the limit on a new civil union while a former spouse from a valid marriage is living. Your parish priest can talk through your own situation with you.

Can a divorced person serve in church?

The United Methodist Social Principles say divorced people should not be denied church ministries. The Southern Baptist Baptist Faith and Message treats marriage as a sacred covenant and says divorced people may be considered for church service according to their qualifications and circumstances. Ask the church where you hope to serve.

What if I remarried before I became a Christian?

Traditions treat this differently. Some look to your present faith and do not ask you to undo your current marriage, while others examine the earlier marriage and how the second one came about. Tell the pastor or priest the whole timeline and ask what their church does.

Does a Jewish marriage need a religious divorce too?

Jewish law treats a get, a Jewish bill of divorce, as separate from the civil decree, and a religious remarriage generally waits on it. The tractate of the Mishnah on divorce documents, Gittin, is where the old debate over grounds is kept. A rabbi is the person to ask.

Where to go next

If tonight feels too heavy, reach a person. In the United States, call 988 or text 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, with help in Spanish too. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline is on 13 11 14. Anywhere else, including Spain, Mexico, Argentina and Colombia, Find A Helpline lists services by country. The domestic abuse lines near the top of this page are there too.

This week, write down the one question you most need answered and take it to the pastor or priest of the church where you hope to marry, or to your parish about a declaration of nullity. If regret is part of what you carry, read Psalm 103:8-12 once and hold its question.

Bible Nudge offers one passage with the verses around it, for whatever you are carrying. Find a passage.