One person wrote on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, "my grandmother was my MOTHER. im grieving her like i lost my mother." Another wrote "I hate that I can’t pick up the phone to talk to her like I did so often." A third, who had looked after her, wrote, "I thought I had gone through my stages of grief when I was taking care of her. It was like I had already lost my grandma." The passage Bible Nudge offers for grief is Psalm 34:18, short enough to read tonight.
If you only have a minute
Read tonight
Psalm 34:18, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart."
A grandmother in Scripture
Lois, named in 2 Timothy 1:5 for her faith.
For her service
Her own favorite verse first.
Psalm 34:18, for tonight
17 The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out of them all.
The psalm speaks of rescue and of nearness now, and it gives no timescale for either. Tonight you could read the verse once, slowly, say her name aloud, and stay with one question: what would it mean to let nearness, rather than explanation, be enough today?
Bible verses for the loss of a parent reads the verse in full, and short Bible verses for grief suits a night when one line is enough.
The phone she answered.
Lois, the grandmother Paul names
Paul, writing to Timothy and remembering his tears, says he longs to see him,
5 having been reminded of the sincere faith that is in you; which lived first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice, and, I am persuaded, in you also.
The verse gives her name, her faith, and the line to Timothy, and nothing about her age or death. David Guzik at Enduring Word, an evangelical commentary, credits Timothy's faith "in no small measure" to "the influence of his grandmother and mother," and adds that "Timothy had to make that faith his own." Matthew Henry, from the Reformed tradition, gives thanks that Timothy "inherited the faith of his mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois." An Orthodox patristic commentary says "Timothy is indebted to his grandmother and his mother." If your grandmother first taught you to pray, this is the verse that names that. Bible verses for courage reads verse 7 in its setting.
Naomi, who held her grandson
Naomi comes home to Bethlehem after the deaths of her husband and both her sons, and says, "Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara; for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me."
Years later, when Ruth has a son, "Naomi took the child, and laid him in her bosom, and became nurse to it," and the neighbor women say, "A son is born to Naomi." Matthew Henry reads it as the grandmother caring for the boy once he was weaned, and the NET Bible renders the word as caregiver, not a medical term. If a grandmother looked after you, you may recognize her in that verse. Bible verses for cancer caregivers reads Ruth 1:16, where Ruth refuses to leave Naomi.
When she raised you
For some readers this is the loss of a parent. The same Reddit poster in r/GriefSupport wrote, "i feel like losing your mother shouldnt happen till youre 50+. this is unfair." The US National Institute on Aging calls these families "grandfamilies," where a grandparent "becomes a child’s primary caregiver." Child Bereavement UK says "each person had their own unique and individual relationship with their grandparent, and will therefore experience the loss in their own way." Bible verses for the death of a mother may fit this loss as closely.
When people keep saying she had a long life
One grandchild wrote on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, "Everyone keeps saying it’s great that I had so much time with her, but I wanted more 😢 it’s never enough." What's Your Grief records what people say after an older person dies, including "Don’t be sad; you had 80 good years with her." and "It’s the natural order of things." Sue Ryder, a UK charity, says similar remarks are "not always helpful," because the bereaved "could resent being told what to think." It adds that a bereaved person who believes "may even feel God has taken their loved one, and be angry," and lists "He’s in a better place now" and "It was God’s will" as things to avoid.
Kenneth Doka's name for this is disenfranchised grief: "grief that persons experience when they incur a loss that is not or cannot be openly acknowledged, socially sanctioned or publicly mourned." What to say to someone whose parent died explains it. None of these sources ranks grief by the age of the person who died.
Her chair.
The verses about a full life
Genesis 25:8 is the narrator on Abraham, who "died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years, and was gathered to his people," and in verse 9 Isaac and Ishmael bury him together. Proverbs 16:31, "Gray hair is a crown of glory," and Proverbs 17:6, "Children’s children are the crown of old men," are sayings about honor in a family. Psalm 90, a prayer bearing the name of Moses, counts "seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty years" and asks, "So teach us to count our days."
Job 5:26, "You shall come to your grave in a full age," is spoken by Eliphaz, one of Job's friends, and later Yahweh tells Eliphaz, "you have not spoken of me the thing that is right." Each passage describes a long life, and you can hold any of them beside a grief that is still this large.
If you were not there at the end
One grandchild had moved "16 hours away from home to start law school" and wrote on Reddit, "I feel extremely guilty for having moved away in the first place." A reply in another Reddit thread said, "I visited her Monday evening and didn’t think to say goodbye." Others describe feeling nothing. The poster raised by her grandmother wrote, "at her funeral i didn’t cry, felt numb, and felt like i was in a dream." and someone else asked there, "Why am I not feeling any grief response at all?"
If something went unsaid, you could write her a letter and read Psalm 34:18 before you begin. From far away, you could read the passage chosen for her service at the hour it is held. Bible verses for sudden death takes up the if-only questions.
Choosing a reading for her service
A poster in Reddit's r/Catholicism wrote, "I’ve been asked to find and read a Bible verse/scripture at the service," hoping to "comfort my mixed Catholic/non-Catholic family, as well as honour my grandmother’s beliefs." If she had a verse she loved, marked in her Bible or said often, start there.
Three readings for a grandmother's service
Psalm 71:17-18
An older person praying, "even when I am old and gray-haired, God, don’t forsake me."
2 Timothy 1:5
Paul remembering the faith that "lived first in your grandmother Lois."
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Paul writing to the church in Corinth about love: "Love is patient and is kind."
US Urns Online, a funeral-resource site, lists 1 Corinthians 13 for a grandmother. Proverbs 31 is chosen often too; Matthew Henry calls it "the description of a virtuous woman," and the Catholic NABRE heads it "The Ideal Wife." Bible verses for the death of a mother reads it, and Bible verses for a funeral covers service books and choosing.
Her sewing things, where she left them.
Words for a parent, or for a child
Sometimes your mother or father is grieving. A poster in Reddit's r/Christians wanted "some godly encouragement I could pass on to her, be it Bible passages or poems or anything," for a mother grieving her own grandmother. A card can be simple: one line that names her, then Psalm 34:18. What to say to someone who lost a loved one and what not to say to someone grieving go further.
Child Bereavement UK says a parent can be "managing their own grief, as well as the reactions and responses of their child to the death of their grandparent." In the United Kingdom, its helpline is 0800 02 888 40, for children and young people up to 25 and the adults supporting them, and Winston's Wish is on 08088 020 021 for children and young people aged 25 or under.
Questions people ask
Does the Bible say Lois raised Timothy? No. 2 Timothy 1:5 names her faith and traces it to Timothy; what it honors is the faith she passed down.
Is it wrong to grieve a grandmother this much? No source here says so. Child Bereavement UK says each person experiences the loss in their own way.
When does grief need more help? The World Health Organization's ICD-11 describes prolonged grief disorder as lasting "more than 6 months at a minimum," and the American Psychiatric Association's DSM-5-TR sets "at least 12 months (6 months in children or adolescents)," both with impairment and a response beyond cultural, social or religious norms. Bible verses for grief and healing covers this.
Where to go next
If grief has turned into thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person tonight. In the United States, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, the Cruse bereavement helpline is on 0808 808 1677. Everywhere else, Befrienders Worldwide lists support centers by country.
Tonight, read Psalm 34:18 with the verses around it, and say her name aloud.
Bible Nudge can also take a line in your own words and come back with one passage and what surrounds it. Find a passage.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Disenfranchised grief. Kenneth Doka's term for grief that other people do not openly acknowledge or support.