One person wrote on Reddit's r/Christianity, "I deeply regret it and have sought forgiveness many times." Another, in the same community, said "I regret the whole thing and I've asked God to help me forgive myself." A third asked on Reddit's r/OpenChristian, "But I ask you all, how do you cope or what does God say or what does the Bible say about feelings of rumination in regret?" Regret covers things done and things left undone, words said and words never said, and the passages below speak to both.
If regret has turned into thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person first: in the United States call or text 988, in the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland call Samaritans on 116 123, and anywhere else the IASP directory of crisis centers lists services by country.
If you only have a minute
The passage
Psalm 103:8-12, which describes what God has already done rather than a condition to meet.
The line after it
Psalm 103:14, "He remembers that we are dust", for a regret that was never a sin.
Tonight
Read verses 12 to 14 once, answer one question in a single written line, and leave it there.
After a death
Write down what you did not get to say, and read verses 13 and 14 beside it.
If the going over it will not stop
A clinician who treats OCD, or a GP after a bereavement, is the person to see.
Psalm 103:8-12
The passage Bible Nudge offers for guilt and regret is this one, in the World English Bible:
Yahweh is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness. He will not always accuse; neither will he stay angry forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor repaid us for our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his loving kindness toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103 is a psalm of praise, and these verses describe something already done, with no condition to meet first. The two verses after them move from distance to tenderness: "Like a father has compassion on his children, so Yahweh has compassion on those who fear him. For he knows how we are made. He remembers that we are dust."
The psalm speaks of God's mercy toward the person, and it sits comfortably beside making amends wherever amends can still be made. If what you carry was never a sin, a decision that went badly or a chance you let pass, verse 14 may be the line that fits.
If you have confessed and still cannot set it down, Bible verses for forgiving yourself is written for that, and Bible verses for guilt and shame explains why this psalm was chosen over better-known verses.
Something to do with it tonight
Read verses 12 to 14 once, slowly. Then take this question: "What are you still holding that this says has already been carried away?" Write the answer in a single line on a scrap of paper, and leave it there. You can also read Psalm 103:8-12 with the verses around it.
One line, and then leave it.
Most regret is not about wrongdoing
Naming the kind can help. Daniel Pink's American Regret Project surveyed a weighted sample of 4,489 Americans in June 2020, and his World Regret Survey, which he describes in a 2022 TED talk, gathered more than 16,000 regrets from people in 105 countries. He sorts them into foundation, boldness, moral and connection regrets. In a 2022 Time interview he calls connection regrets the largest group and moral regrets the smallest, and says that in treating regret as purely something to avoid "we've gotten it profoundly wrong", a thought for anyone told to live with no regrets.
Why might a chance not taken hurt more as the years pass? Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Husted Medvec, in a 1995 review, describe processes that "decrease the pain of regrettable action over time" and others that make regrettable inaction more painful with time.
Paul regretted something too
In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul writes about a painful letter he had sent the church at Corinth, and their response: Is Paulette a biblical name tells how Saul and Paul are one man.
For though I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it, though I did regret it. For I see that my letter made you sorry, though just for a while. I now rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that you were made sorry to repentance. For you were made sorry in a godly way, that you might suffer loss by us in nothing. For godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, which brings no regret. But the sorrow of the world produces death.
John Calvin describes godly sorrow as sorrow "according to God", turned toward repentance. Adam Clarke, a Methodist commentator, contrasts sorrow that "leads to God" with a worldly sorrow that brings no saving change, and the Catholic Haydock commentary reads it as contrition.
Verse 10 describes the Corinthians' response to one letter, not a sentence passed on you. If "produces death" lands as a verdict tonight, please call a person: 988 in the United States, Samaritans on 116 123 in the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland, or a line from the IASP directory anywhere else.
Peter, who did the thing and wept
In Luke 22, after Peter has denied Jesus three times, "The Lord turned, and looked at Peter." Peter remembered what he had been told, and "He went out, and wept bitterly." The forgiving yourself post tells the rest, the breakfast by the lake in John 21, and reads Paul's "forgetting the things which are behind" in Philippians 3. Simon's name and story tell who he was before that night.
When the regret involves somebody still living
In Genesis 50, after their father Jacob dies, Joseph's brothers are afraid, decades after they sold him: "It may be that Joseph will hate us, and will fully pay us back for all the evil which we did to him." They ask forgiveness, and "Joseph wept when they spoke to him." He tells them, "Don’t be afraid, for am I in the place of God?" and the chapter says "He comforted them, and spoke kindly to them." That is what happened between these brothers. Bible verses for the death of a father reads the start of the chapter. Joseph's whole story is told in where the name Josephine comes from.
Some of it involves somebody you could still call.
Regret after a death
The NHS says guilt in grief can be about "something you said or did not say, or not being able to stop your loved one dying", and describes the question "If only I had done more." Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust says a sudden death can leave somebody "guilty about things left unsaid" or without "a chance to say goodbye."
One thing you can do: write down what you did not get to say, and read Psalm 103:13-14 beside it. Bible verses for sudden death takes up the if-only questions after a sudden loss, as does what the Bible says about grief.
For years that feel wasted
Three passages are often sent. Psalm 90, headed as a prayer of Moses, speaks of how short a life is and asks, "So teach us to count our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (verse 12). Joel 2:25, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten", is spoken to "you children of Zion" after a locust plague, as a promise about their land and harvests; what you take from it is yours to decide. Lamentations 3:19-24 begins with memory, "My soul still remembers them, and is bowed down within me", before "This I recall to my mind; therefore I have hope." What the Bible says about suffering reads the chapter.
Psalm 90 asks to count the days that remain.
When the Bible speaks of God regretting
In 1 Samuel 15, God says, "It grieves me that I have set up Saul to be king", and the chapter ends, "Yahweh grieved that he had made Saul king over Israel." Between the two, verse 29 says God "will not lie nor repent; for he is not a man, that he should repent." Genesis 6:6 says "Yahweh was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him in his heart." Calvin says Scripture here speaks of God "after the manner of men", and the Haydock note reads it as displeasure and a change in God's dealings, not a mistake discovered.
When going back over it is the problem
The International OCD Foundation lists "Repeatedly seeking reassurance from religious leaders and loved ones" among the signs of scrupulosity, and its page for faith leaders warns that reassurance can be the kind "that actually fuels the condition." If that loop is yours, a clinician who treats OCD is the person to see. After a death, the NHS lists guilt that does not ease over months among the signs of prolonged grief; for that, see a GP, your family doctor.
Questions people ask
Is it too late? Psalm 103 describes transgressions already removed, in the past tense, and sets no deadline. For your own situation, a priest or minister can talk it through with you.
Does the Bible say to forget the past? Philippians 3:13's "forgetting the things which are behind" is part of Paul's argument about pressing toward Christ, not a bare command to erase memory.
Where to go next
Tonight, read Psalm 103:8-12, then verses 13 and 14, once. Or describe what you are carrying in your own words, and Bible Nudge can suggest a single passage. Find a passage.
If regret has turned into thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person tonight. In the United States, call or text 988. In the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. Anywhere else, the IASP crisis centers directory lists services by country.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Yahweh. The personal name of God in the Hebrew Bible, printed where many translations have "the LORD".