One person posted on Reddit's r/PrayerRequests, about a stepmother, "i am so low in patience." and then asked, "please pray for me to be patient." Another, on Reddit's r/Christianity, wrote "I’m not saying that I’m losing my faith but I will say I’m trying to hold on to my patients." If you have landed here at the end of yours, it helps to know which kind is running out, because the Bible speaks to a long wait and to a difficult person in different places.
If you only have a minute
A wait gone on too long
Psalm 13:1-2, a prayer that asks "How long?" four times.
Somebody testing you
Proverbs 14:29 or 16:32, one line to read in the next room.
In a harmful relationship
Bearing with one another is not a reason to stay unsafe. Helplines are below.
If your temper frightens you
Tell a doctor this week.
Which patience is running out
The psychologist Sarah Schnitker defines patience as "the propensity of a person to wait calmly in the face of frustration, adversity, or suffering." A later summary of her work describes three kinds: patience with people who feel unpleasant or burdensome, patience with a hardship, and patience with daily hassles. A toddler at bedtime, a job search in its fourth month and a slow queue are different strains, and it is fine to start with whichever one brought you here.
When the wait has gone on too long
For a wait, the passage Bible Nudge offers is Psalm 13:1-2:
How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart every day? How long shall my enemy triumph over me?
The psalm goes on:
3 Behold, and answer me, Yahweh, my God. Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death; 4 Lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed against him”; Lest my adversaries rejoice when I fall. 5 But I trust in your loving kindness. My heart rejoices in your salvation.
"How long" comes four times, and the psalm lets the question stand as a prayer. The impatient question is already in Scripture, said out loud to God, and you are welcome to say it the same way, however long your own wait has been. For a wait of years, waiting on God's timing reads it slowly; for an ordinary empty day, there is waiting on God when nothing is happening.
Something to do with it: read verses 1 and 2 aloud as your own complaint. Then answer one question in a single line: what have you been waiting for longer than you expected?
Some waits are measured in reheated coffee.
The farmer in James 5
James 5:7-11 is the passage most people mean by patience in a wait. James writes to scattered believers about the Lord's return:
Be patient therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient over it, until it receives the early and late rain.
He adds, "Don’t grumble, brothers, against one another," points to the prophets and "the perseverance of Job," and ends with "how the Lord is full of compassion and mercy."
James uses two Greek words. Makrothymia and its verb, often translated long-suffering, appear in verses 7, 8 and 10; hypomonē, endurance, appears in verse 11. The usual rule is long-suffering toward people and endurance under circumstances, but StrongerBible notes that it "breaks down" here, where the first word means waiting through delay. The InterVarsity Press commentary on James reads the repeated verb as waiting with patience for the Lord's coming, shown in the farmer, and Matthew Henry calls readers to "wait patiently for the coming of the Lord."
Patience with people
This is where many readers are, and Paul writes about it to several churches. To Corinth, in his argument that gifts without love are nothing, he says "Love is patient and is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4). To the churches of Galatia, contrasting two ways of living, he lists "the fruit of the Spirit" as "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith" (Galatians 5:22). To Colossae he asks believers to put on "a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other" (Colossians 3:12-13), where "perseverance" translates makrothymia. And to Ephesus, calling himself "the prisoner in the Lord," he writes about the unity of a church, "with patience, bearing with one another in love" (Ephesians 4:1-2).
If you snapped at a child or a parent today, notice what these are. They describe what love and the Spirit look like, in lists written to whole communities.
Where these verses stop
These verses are sometimes used to keep somebody in a harmful relationship. The Presbyterian Church in America's 2022 report on domestic abuse says "Forgiveness does not always involve relational restoration" and "The duty to preserve is primary and supersedes the duty of forbearance," and it reads Ephesians 4:2's bearing with one another as about church unity, "not intimate relationships." Thomas Aquinas, in the Summa's article on anger, has the line "unreasonable patience is the hotbed of many vices." Restored, a UK Christian domestic-abuse charity, reports the theologian Helen Paynter finding "a whole load of ways in which the bible is being weaponised."
If this is your situation, people are there to talk it through. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233. In England, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. WAVE lists national helplines for 46 European countries, and the NO MORE Global Directory covers everywhere else.
A door can stay closed while you make a call.
God described as patient
Exodus 34:6 comes after the golden calf, when God proclaims his own name before Moses: "Yahweh! Yahweh, a merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness and truth." Matthew Henry reads it as an account of "the name of God." Psalm 103:8 repeats the phrase: "Yahweh is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness." And 2 Peter 3:9, answering people who mocked the delay of the Lord's coming, says he "is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish."
A line for the next room
Proverbs and Ecclesiastes collect wisdom sayings for anyone. Proverbs 14:29: "He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a quick temper displays folly." Proverbs 15:18: "one who is slow to anger appeases strife." Proverbs 16:32: "One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; one who rules his spirit, than he who takes a city." Ecclesiastes 7:8-9: "The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Don’t be hasty in your spirit to be angry." Pick one and read it once, standing in the next room.
If you were told never to pray for patience
The saying is common. One person wrote on Reddit's r/AskAChristian, "Kind of a joke, but never pray for patience, or God will give you something to practice with!" Another, on Reddit's r/christianmemes, remembered, "Growing up, my mom always said you should never pray for patience if you’re not prepared for God to send you an opportunity to use it." It travels as a half-joke, and you are still welcome to ask. The person on r/PrayerRequests simply asked, "please pray for me to be patient."
When "be patient" lands badly
A poster on Reddit's r/Christian, three months into a job search, quoted a TikTok: "Be patient. Sometimes God makes us wait longer because the blessing is bigger. Trust in God’s timing." Then they wrote, "I wait and wait and wait." Waiting on God's timing takes sayings like that one at a time.
For carers
Anger is common in care, and researchers name it. A 2022 review of eight studies by See and colleagues says "Anger is commonly experienced by family caregivers of people living with dementia." Paul Nash's 2019 study of 62 caregivers in Los Angeles describes care as "stressful, strenuous, and time-consuming," "potentially leading to frustration and anger towards care recipients." Bible verses for dementia caregivers is written for that work.
If you are afraid your temper could hurt somebody in your care, a child or a parent, tell a doctor this week, your own or theirs.
Stepping out of the room is allowed.
Questions people ask
Is it a sin to lose patience? Traditions differ on the details. Aquinas treats impatience as opposed to patience, and the same writer warns about "unreasonable patience." None of the sources here treats a flash of frustration as proof that faith is missing.
Which verse is best for patience with my kids? Proverbs 15:18 or 16:32, written for anyone, are short enough to read in a hallway, and 1 Corinthians 13:4 describes love rather than grading you.
Is Romans 8:25 about patience? It says "But if we hope for that which we don’t see, we wait for it with patience." Paul ties waiting to hope in something not yet seen.
Where to go next
If you are thinking of ending your life, please reach a person tonight. In the United States, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In Canada, call or text 9-8-8. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, Samaritans is on 116 123. In Australia, Lifeline is 13 11 14. Anywhere else, Find A Helpline or the Befrienders Worldwide directory lists services. The domestic abuse lines are in the section on where these verses stop.
For one step tonight, read Psalm 13:1-2 with the verses around it, aloud, once. Or describe what you are carrying in your own words, and Bible Nudge can suggest a single passage. Find a passage.
Words that come up here
Tap a term to see what it means.
Makrothymia. A Greek word often translated long-suffering or patience, used for bearing with people and for waiting through delay.