Bible Verses for the Loss of a Sister: Miriam, Martha and Mary, and the Person Who Shared Your Childhood

Psalm 34:18, for tonight

17 The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but Yahweh delivers him out of them all.

Rescue is named on either side, in verses 17 and 19, and in the middle, verse 18 speaks of nearness now, which you can take as company for tonight.

Read it once, say her name out loud, and stay with the question this site pairs with it: "What would it mean to let nearness, rather than explanation, be enough today?" If she had a verse she loved, read it beside this one. The post on losing a parent reads the whole psalm, and short Bible verses for grief is for nights when one line is enough.

Only ever for two.

Miriam, the sister who watched

Exodus 2 has a baby laid in a basket "in the reeds by the river’s bank," and then: "His sister stood far off, to see what would be done to him." When Pharaoh's daughter finds him, the sister offers to "call a nurse for you from the Hebrew women" and comes back with their own mother. The chapter calls her only his sister.

By Exodus 15 she has a name: "Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a tambourine in her hand; and all the women went out after her." Her song is "Sing to Yahweh, for he has triumphed gloriously." In Micah 6:4, God says, "I sent before you Moses, Aaron, and Miriam." If yours was the older one who kept an eye on everybody, or the one who started the singing, you may recognize her.

If things were strained between you

In Numbers 12, Miriam and Aaron speak against Moses, Miriam is struck with leprosy, and Moses' first words are a prayer: "Heal her, God, I beg you!" She is shut outside the camp seven days, "and the people didn’t travel until Miriam was brought in again." Rabbeinu Bahya, a Jewish commentator read at Sefaria, says Moses "expressed his pain over Miriam’s fate and prayed for her." David Guzik at Enduring Word, an evangelical commentary, calls it "a prayer for healing, interceding for the sister who just attacked him."

The UK charity Marie Curie lists "You had a difficult or strained relationship with the person who died" among things that can make grief more complicated, and OUR HOUSE, a US grief center, says adult sibling grief exists "regardless of the nature of your relationship." See the section on a sibling who was hard to be close to.

If her death seemed to pass quickly

Numbers 20:1 says, "Miriam died there, and was buried there." The next line is "There was no water for the congregation." For Aaron, "they wept for Aaron thirty days, even all the house of Israel." The Pulpit Commentary calls her notice "brief and formal." Rashi, at Sefaria, joins the tradition in the Talmud, Ta’anit 9a, that ties the missing water to Miriam's well ceasing at her death, and Rabbi Zoë Klein Miles, writing for Reform Judaism, presents that well as rabbinic imagination around the verse. If your sister's death seemed to pass with less said than others', Miriam's did too. What the Bible says about grief reads Aaron's thirty days.

When the condolences go to everyone else

Cruse Bereavement Support, a UK charity, says, "Siblings hold a unique place in our lives. Their death can be hard to process." The Compassionate Friends, a US organization, says the attention and comfort "are usually aimed at the parents, spouse and children," and gives "How are your parents doing?" as a question siblings are often asked. Child Bereavement UK records children being told "You have to be strong for your parents now," and says it can leave them feeling their grief should be hidden. The brother post covers this and names it disenfranchised grief.

Martha and Mary, two sisters in one house

In Luke 10, Mary "sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word," while Martha, as Matthew Henry of the Reformed tradition put it, was "cumbered about much serving."

In John 11, Bethany is "the village of Mary and her sister, Martha," and "Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus." When their brother dies, Martha calls "Mary, her sister, secretly," and Mary "arose quickly, and went to him." Whether yours was nothing like you or did everything with you, these two stayed sisters through it. The loss of a brother reads John 11 in full, and Bible verses for stress reads Luke 10.

Brothers and sisters at the same table

Job's sons held feasts, "and they sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them." They were together when the house fell. At the end, "all his brothers, and all his sisters" come, "ate bread with him in his house," and "comforted him." If you remember her at every family meal, she belongs at that table, and if you wonder whether to visit a grieving sibling, Job's family went.

The same childhood.

If you were her twin

On Reddit's r/GriefSupport, an identical twin wrote, "Part of me died that day." Another twin posted on Reddit, "It’ll be five years since my twin sister died." and "We had plans for this birthday and now we’re not able to do them anymore." A 16-year-old wrote there, "I’m really just struggling to accept the fact that I’ll never see her on this Earth again."

Child Bereavement UK says a surviving child twin "may feel they have to compensate in some way for the loss of their brother or sister." Twinless Twins Support Group is a US peer group for twins whose twin has died. Twins Trust's bereavement service in the UK is for parents and carers of twins who died in pregnancy or after birth. On a birthday you shared, read Psalm 34:18 with her name said aloud, and see the anniversary of a death.

If she was your big sister, or you are still young

One commenter on Reddit's r/GriefSupport, remembering a sister's death, wrote, "Like a little kid on the playground without my protector." The Dougy Center, a US center for grieving children, says, "The death of a brother or sister is often defined as a before-and-after experience in childhood," and records a teenager's words, "Since my sister’s death I’ve learned that grief isn’t five simple stages." Child Bereavement UK says a child bereaved very young "may revisit their grief at different stages in later life."

For young people in the United Kingdom, Child Bereavement UK is on 0800 02 888 40. In Canada, Kids Help Phone is 1-800-668-6868, or text CONNECT to 686868. In Australia, Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800. In the United States, the Dougy Center has resources.

If you are raising her children

The same Reddit poster in r/GriefSupport also wrote, "She, I, and my husband made every parenting decision together." You may be grieving your sister and helping her children grieve their mother at once. You could read Psalm 34:18 with them, written under a line with their mother's name. Child Bereavement UK has pages for adults supporting a bereaved child.

Everyday things go on.

Readings for her funeral

The Church of England sets general funeral readings, and families choose among them for a sister as for anybody they love. If she had a verse she loved, start there. Then:

• Psalm 34:18, above.
• John 11:25-26, Jesus to Martha: "I am the resurrection and the life."
• Exodus 15:21, Miriam's own song, for a sister remembered for her singing.

Funeral verses covers reading aloud, and sympathy card verses help with a card to her family.

Questions people ask

Does she become an angel? The Catholic Catechism calls angels "spiritual, non-corporeal beings" (328 to 336). John Piper at Desiring God, from the Reformed tradition, says, "Human beings do not become angels when they die," and the Orthodox Church in America distinguishes angels from human persons. Loss of a child says where the phrase came from.

Are there verses for a sister-in-law? In Ruth 1:14-17, Orpah goes home and her sister-in-law Ruth tells Naomi, "where you go, I will go." Cancer caregivers reads Ruth 1:16.

How long does grief last? ICD-11 uses "more than 6 months at a minimum" and the APA's DSM-5-TR "at least 12 months," as thresholds for a diagnosis rather than a timetable for grief. Grief and healing says more.

Where to go next

If she died by suicide or overdose, support comes from Support After Suicide Partnership in the United Kingdom, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in the United States and StandBy on 1300 727 247 in Australia, and a section on both in the brother post.

If grief has turned into thoughts of ending your life, please reach a person tonight: call or text 988 in the United States, 9-8-8 in Canada, Samaritans on 116 123 in the United Kingdom and Ireland, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 in Australia. The Cruse helpline is 0808 808 1677 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Anywhere else, Find A Helpline lists lines by country.

Tonight, read Psalm 34:18 with the verses around it, with her name said aloud. Another night, Bible Nudge can take a line in your own words and offer one passage. Find a passage.