---
title: "Is Divorce a Sin?"
description: "Is divorce a sin? What Moses, Jesus and Malachi say, what churches teach about grounds and belonging, and where to turn tonight if you are being hurt."
url: "https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-divorce-a-sin"
lang: "en"
published: "2026-10-29"
modified: "2026-10-29"
author: "Cal Hewitt"
tags: ["divorce","is divorce a sin","malachi 2","matthew 19","psalm 25"]
image: "https://biblenudge.com/og/blog-is-divorce-a-sin.jpg"
alternates:
  es: "https://biblenudge.com/es/blog/es-pecado-el-divorcio.md"
---

# Is Divorce a Sin?

[Cal Hewitt](https://biblenudge.com/about/cal-hewitt)Published October 29, 2026

- divorce
- is divorce a sin
- malachi 2
- matthew 19
- psalm 25

![Is Divorce a Sin?](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-divorce-a-sin/featured.jpg)

Nobody is condemned here for a divorce. Whether you left, were left, or are still deciding, the answer depends on whom you ask and on what happened, and many churches say outright that a divorced person belongs.

The Bible both regulates divorce and restricts it, and Christian churches answer the question in their own words. Many name grounds such as adultery, desertion or abuse. The [Assemblies of God](https://ag.org/Beliefs/Position-Papers/Divorce-and-Remarriage), in a 2024 position paper, says divorced and remarried believers "must not be viewed as second-class saints." The [Catechism of the Catholic Church](https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_three/section_two/chapter_two/article_6/iv_offenses_against_the_dignity_of_marriage.html), paragraph 2386, separates "the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law" from the spouse whose grave fault destroyed a valid marriage.

One person put the weight of it this way, posted on Reddit in r/Christianity on 2026-09-25: ["I feel guilty. Guilty for leaving and guilty for staying."](https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/1wq6gcq/christian_divorce/) People ask this question for many reasons. You may have left something unsafe, been left, watched a marriage go cold or be betrayed, been married in church and divorced in civil law, or be the parent or grown child of someone divorced.

You are in large company. The [CDC's National Center for Health Statistics](https://cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/marriage-divorce/national-marriage-divorce-rates-00-23.pdf) counted 672,502 divorces and annulments in the United States in 2023, 2.4 per 1,000 people, in the states that report.

## Key takeaways

### If you are being hurt

Safe places to call are in the next section, and they come before any question about sin.

### Moses and Jesus

The law of Moses regulated divorce, and Jesus restricted it while answering a live argument.

### Malachi 2:16

A verse spoken to husbands who betrayed their wives, and translated in very different ways.

### Churches

They name different grounds, and several say the divorced person belongs.

### Tonight

Pray [Psalm 25:16-17](https://biblenudge.com/context/psalm-25-16-17) once, and tell one person this week.

## If you are being hurt, or were: places to turn tonight

If you are in danger right now, call your local emergency number first. After that, these services are there for anyone living with abuse or leaving it.

In the United States, the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) takes calls on [1-800-799-7233](tel:18007997233), texts to [88788](sms:88788), and chat on its site. In the United Kingdom, [Refuge's National Domestic Abuse Helpline](https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/) is on [0808 2000 247](tel:08082000247). In Canada, the [ShelterSafe directory](https://sheltersafe.ca/about/find-help/) lists provincial and territorial routes. In Australia, [1800RESPECT](https://www.1800respect.org.au/) is on [1800 737 732](tel:1800737732).

In Spain, the [016 line](https://violenciagenero.igualdad.gob.es/informacion-3/recursos/telefono016/) is on [016](tel:016), or by WhatsApp on 600 000 016. In Argentina, [Línea 144](https://www.argentina.gob.ar/linea-144) is on [144](tel:144). In Colombia, [Línea 155](https://www.policia.gov.co/contenido/llamadas-que-salvan-vidas) is on [155](tel:155), and 123 is the emergency number.

Free legal information about the divorce itself is available too: the [Legal Services Corporation directory](https://www.lsc.gov/about-lsc/what-legal-aid/get-legal-help) in the United States, [Citizens Advice](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/) in the United Kingdom, [National Legal Aid](https://www.nationallegalaid.org.au/) in Australia, and the [Ministerio de Justicia](https://www.mjusticia.gob.es/) in Spain.

## What did Jesus say about divorce, and why did Moses allow a certificate of divorce?

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is a regulation. It describes what happens after a man sends his wife away with a written certificate because he finds "some indecency" in her, and it deals with what follows if she marries another man.

The passage does not define "indecency," and that open phrase fed a long argument among later teachers.

The Mishnah, a Jewish record of that argument, preserves it in [Gittin 9:10](https://www.sefaria.org/Mishnah_Gittin.9.10). The House of Shammai allowed divorce only for "a matter of sexual immorality." The House of Hillel allowed it "Even if she spoiled his dish." Rabbi Akiva allowed it "Even if he found another woman more beautiful than her."

Into that argument, in Matthew 19, Pharisees test Jesus by asking whether a man may divorce his wife "for any reason." He answers from Genesis, says Moses permitted divorce because of "hardness of heart," and gives a saying with an exception, "except for sexual immorality." Mark 10:2-12 and Luke 16:18 carry the saying without the exception.

Matthew 5:31-32 holds the same saying in the Sermon on the Mount:

> 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ 32 but I tell you that everyone who puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.”

And Luke 16:18 puts it in one sentence:

> “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery.”

[BibleProject](https://bibleproject.com/articles/divorce-bible-how-jesus-responded-debate/) wrote in 2024 that Jesus' teaching "seems to clearly prohibit almost all divorce," and then read the wider biblical story as including neglect, abuse and unfaithfulness, with Jesus answering men who used the law against their wives. If abuse is part of your story, the routes near the top come first, and the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) is open to you tonight.

What the passages give is a regulation of divorce and a restriction of it, spoken into a live argument between teachers. Erasmus, Catholic interpreters and the Reformers read the Greek word *porneia*, "sexual immorality," differently. [Is it a sin to remarry after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-it-a-sin-to-remarry-after-divorce) sets out those three readings and the remarriage saying.

![An open wardrobe with half its rail empty and a few bare hangers left](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-divorce-a-sin/the-half-empty-wardrobe.jpg)

## Why is God said to hate divorce?

The line comes from Malachi 2:16, and its setting matters. Malachi speaks to men of Judah who married outside the community and dealt treacherously with the wife of their youth, and then covered the altar with tears.

In the World English Bible:

> 13 This again you do: you cover Yahweh’s altar with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, because he doesn’t regard the offering any more, nor receives it with good will at your hand. 14 Yet you say, “Why?” Because Yahweh has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant. 15 Did he not make you one, although he had the residue of the Spirit? Why one? He sought godly offspring. Therefore be careful in your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16 “For I hate divorce,” says Yahweh, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with violence!” says Yahweh of Armies. Therefore watch yourselves in your spirit, and don’t deal treacherously.

In the King James Version, verse 16 reads:

> For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Verse 16 is translated in very different ways. The World English Bible, King James, NRSV, NASB and NET have God speaking of hating divorce or putting away. The ESV and NIV make the man who divorces his wife the subject. The [Bible Gateway comparison](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Malachi+2&version=WEB%3BNIV%3BKJV%3BESV) puts four wordings side by side.

The Hebrew explains part of the split. *Shalach* means to send away, and *kasah chamas* describes covering a garment with violence, as [Brown-Driver-Briggs on Bible Hub](https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7971.htm) gives them. The grammar allows either subject. The Septuagint, the early Greek translation, reads it as words to a man who hates his wife and puts her away.

On [Sefaria](https://www.sefaria.org/Malachi.2.16?lang=bi), Rashi reads the verse as condemning the man who sends away the wife of his youth, and Malbim connects the violence with how the husband treated his wife. The modern Jewish translation notes that the garment phrase is uncertain.

The Talmud keeps a saying of Rabbi Elazar in [Gittin 90b](https://www.sefaria.org/Gittin.90b): "Even the altar sheds tears when a man divorces the wife of his youth." The prophets use the same language for God and Israel. In Isaiah 50:1 and Jeremiah 3:8, God is shown giving Israel a certificate of divorce, which is covenant language about exile.

> Yahweh says, “Where is the bill of your mother’s divorce, with which I have put her away? or to which of my creditors have I sold you? Behold, you were sold for your iniquities, and your mother was put away for your transgressions.

> I saw when, for this very cause, that backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a bill of divorce, yet treacherous Judah, her sister, had no fear; but she also went and played the prostitute.

So, what Malachi gives you is a verse spoken to husbands who betrayed their wives, read in more than one way, and a sorrow over broken marriage that the prophet and the rabbis share. [Bible verses for healing after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/bible-verses-for-healing-after-divorce) reads the chapter in its setting with Rashi on the wives' tears and Matthew Henry.

## If you left because you were being hurt, or were told to stay and pray

If you left because of abuse, the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) is there for you, and the routes near the top of this page cover other countries. Some people who left were told to stay anyway.

Posted on Reddit in r/Christianity on 2026-09-25, one person wrote, ["I feared for my life and I had PTSD for a long time after the marriage."](https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/1wq6gcq/christian_divorce/) On Reddit in r/Christianmarriage on 2026-06-05, another wrote, ["Somehow abuse came up and I was shocked to learn that if someone is being abused in their marriage, they can separate, but it is a sin to divorce the abuser."](https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianmarriage/comments/1u8q6rzq/) The same thread has this line: "I was told to stay and pray."

Several churches speak to this in their own words. The Assemblies of God's [domestic violence paper](https://ag.org/beliefs/position-papers/~/link.aspx?_id=6F9F9F06B1124535B3FFC2903B068377&_z=z), adopted 2022-08-03, says physical and emotional abuse may be "both justification for dissolving the marriage relationship," and that the church must recognize the difference between the oppressor and the oppressed.

The US Conference of Catholic Bishops, in [When I Call for Help](https://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/violence-against-women/when-i-call-for-help) (2002, updated 2018), says in effect that the church must not tell a person in danger simply to remain. The Church of England's [Responding Well to Domestic Abuse](https://www.churchofengland.org/resources/safeguarding/responding-well-domestic-abuse) asks churches to protect victims and to avoid placing on them the responsibility for the abuser's conduct. Both are paraphrases.

[Leslie Vernick](https://leslievernick.com/) and [Jeff Crippen](https://cryingoutforjustice.com/), evangelical writers on abuse, warn that "submit," "stay and pray" and reconciliation language can return a victim to danger. The [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) can talk through a plan for leaving, and the routes near the top cover other countries.

Readers apply 1 Corinthians 7:15 in two ways. Some apply it only to abandonment, and others apply it to a spouse whose violence has destroyed the marriage. If your pastor answered badly, you are not alone in that either. [Lifeway Research](https://lifewayresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Domestic-Violence-and-the-Church-Research-Report.pdf) surveyed US Protestant pastors in 2017, and when a congregant filed for divorce citing domestic violence, 59 percent of pastors said divorce might be the best decision. Three percent said the couple should never divorce.

In the teaching of all of these churches, safety comes first. [Bible verses for loneliness in marriage](https://biblenudge.com/blog/bible-verses-for-loneliness-in-marriage) gives canon 1153 and the passages used to say stay, and [Bible verses for healing after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/bible-verses-for-healing-after-divorce) covers safety after leaving.

## When does the Bible allow divorce, and what does each church name as grounds?

Churches answer in different words, and the answers are set side by side here, ranked by none.

What each church says in its own words

Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.

|  |  |  |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Catholic | A ratified and consummated marriage between baptized people cannot be dissolved by any human power. Divorce that attempts to break the covenant is "a grave offense against the natural law." A civil divorce that is the only way to secure legal rights, the care of children or an inheritance "does not constitute a moral offense." Spouses may live apart when living together becomes practically impossible. | [Catechism 2382-2384](https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_three/section_two/chapter_two/article_6/iv_offenses_against_the_dignity_of_marriage.html), [1649](https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_three/article_7/v_the_goods_and_requirements_of_conjugal_love.html), [canons 1151-1155](https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann1055-1165_en.html) |
| Orthodox Church in America | "The Orthodox Church recognizes the sanctity of marriage and sees it as a life-long commitment. However, there are certain circumstances in which it becomes evident that there is no love or commitment in a relationship." | [OCA, Divorce and Remarriage](https://www.oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/divorce-and-remarriage) |
| Westminster Confession | Adultery and willful desertion. | [Chapter 24, sections 5 and 6](https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/westminster-confession-faith) |
| Southern Baptist | Marriage is "the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime," and churches are to minister to people affected by divorce. | [Baptist Faith and Message 2000, article XVIII](https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/) |
| United Methodist | Divorce may be necessary when a relationship becomes destructive or irretrievably broken. | [Social Principles](https://www.umcjustice.org/who-we-are/social-principles) |
| Assemblies of God | Divorce is permitted in certain biblical circumstances, with particular sensitivity where there is "serious danger to life and limb." | [Divorce and Remarriage, 2024](https://ag.org/Beliefs/Position-Papers/Divorce-and-Remarriage) |
| Grace Community Church | Divorce is "an accommodation to man’s sin," with adultery and abandonment as grounds. | [Divorce and Remarriage](https://gracechurch.org/about/distinctives/divorce-and-remarriage) |
| Jehovah's Witnesses | Sexual immorality, from Matthew 19:9. | [Bible view of divorce](https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/bible-view-of-divorce/) |

ChurchCatholic

In its own wordsA ratified and consummated marriage between baptized people cannot be dissolved by any human power. Divorce that attempts to break the covenant is "a grave offense against the natural law." A civil divorce that is the only way to secure legal rights, the care of children or an inheritance "does not constitute a moral offense." Spouses may live apart when living together becomes practically impossible.

Where it says so[Catechism 2382-2384](https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_three/section_two/chapter_two/article_6/iv_offenses_against_the_dignity_of_marriage.html), [1649](https://www.vatican.va/content/catechism/en/part_two/section_two/chapter_three/article_7/v_the_goods_and_requirements_of_conjugal_love.html), [canons 1151-1155](https://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann1055-1165_en.html)

ChurchOrthodox Church in America

In its own words"The Orthodox Church recognizes the sanctity of marriage and sees it as a life-long commitment. However, there are certain circumstances in which it becomes evident that there is no love or commitment in a relationship."

Where it says so[OCA, Divorce and Remarriage](https://www.oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/divorce-and-remarriage)

ChurchWestminster Confession

In its own wordsAdultery and willful desertion.

Where it says so[Chapter 24, sections 5 and 6](https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/westminster-confession-faith)

ChurchSouthern Baptist

In its own wordsMarriage is "the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime," and churches are to minister to people affected by divorce.

Where it says so[Baptist Faith and Message 2000, article XVIII](https://bfm.sbc.net/bfm2000/)

ChurchUnited Methodist

In its own wordsDivorce may be necessary when a relationship becomes destructive or irretrievably broken.

Where it says so[Social Principles](https://www.umcjustice.org/who-we-are/social-principles)

ChurchAssemblies of God

In its own wordsDivorce is permitted in certain biblical circumstances, with particular sensitivity where there is "serious danger to life and limb."

Where it says so[Divorce and Remarriage, 2024](https://ag.org/Beliefs/Position-Papers/Divorce-and-Remarriage)

ChurchGrace Community Church

In its own wordsDivorce is "an accommodation to man’s sin," with adultery and abandonment as grounds.

Where it says so[Divorce and Remarriage](https://gracechurch.org/about/distinctives/divorce-and-remarriage)

ChurchJehovah's Witnesses

In its own wordsSexual immorality, from Matthew 19:9.

Where it says so[Bible view of divorce](https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/questions/bible-view-of-divorce/)

The disagreement runs inside church families as well as between them. Your own pastor or priest can say what your church teaches.

When a couple separates, Paul gives a command in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11.

He writes that a wife should not leave, "not I, but the Lord," and that if she does she should remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. Catholic canon law has its own provision for living apart, as the table shows.

Civil divorce and church marriage are different things. A Catholic declaration of nullity finds that a valid bond was never formed, which makes it something other than a Catholic divorce. [Is it a sin to remarry after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-it-a-sin-to-remarry-after-divorce) covers nullity and the civil and church routes country by country.

The legal kinds of divorce are local. In Spain the [Ministerio de Justicia](https://www.mjusticia.gob.es/) distinguishes divorce by mutual agreement from contested divorce, and in Mexico the routes vary by state ([gob.mx](https://www.gob.mx/)). A lawyer or legal aid service where you live is the place to ask.

In Jewish law, a religious divorce is a *get*, delivered before a rabbinical court. A woman whose husband refuses one is an *agunah*, held in a marriage that civil law has ended. The [Rabbinical Assembly](https://www.rabbinicalassembly.org/story/get-procedure) and the [Beth Din of America](https://bethdin.org/) explain the process, and a rabbi is the person to ask.

## Does God forgive divorce, and can a divorced person take Communion?

Churches that speak to this one say divorced people belong. The Assemblies of God says divorced people "need and deserve special care within Christian congregations and from trained caregivers," and that congregations must show "Christ’s love and grace." The Catechism, in paragraph 2386, says the spouse who is the innocent victim of a civil divorce has not violated the moral law.

[Pope Francis](https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_exhortations/documents/papa-francesco_esortazione-ap_20160319_amoris-laetitia.html), in Amoris Laetitia chapter 8 (2016), calls for accompaniment, discernment and integration. None of these hands down a verdict from God; they describe how a congregation is asked to treat the person in front of it.

The Communion question, in a reader's words, was posted on Reddit in r/Catholicism on 2026-07-31: ["I am divorced i have been told that if your divorced you can not receive holy communion."](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/1vbhmna/a_question_regarding_divorce_and_holy_communion/) A reply in the same Reddit thread said, "Being divorced isn't necessarily a sin."

The Catechism, in paragraph 1650, places its limit on a new civil union while a valid first marriage stands. A civil divorce on its own leaves a Catholic free to receive. [Is it a sin to remarry after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-it-a-sin-to-remarry-after-divorce) answers the questions about Communion and serving in church.

If you carry regret about your own part, [Psalm 103:8-12](https://biblenudge.com/context/psalm-103-8-12) is read in its setting on its page. The Hebrew behind "removed" in verse 12, *rachaq*, means to be far or distant, per [Bible Hub](https://biblehub.com/hebrew/7301.htm).

## If you did not want the divorce

Some people did not choose this. Posted on Reddit in r/Catholicism on 2026-07-12, one person wrote, ["I tried to support his recovery in anyway I could, but he blamed me for everything."](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/1uumeku/receiving_communion_after_filing_for_divorce/) The same person wrote, "Because of no fault divorce, I cannot oppose the divorce."

The Catechism's innocent victim and the Assemblies of God's care for the abandoned or betrayed spouse both speak to this reader.

In 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, where an unbelieving spouse departs, Paul writes that "the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases." Catholic commentators apply the passage as the Pauline privilege. Protestant commentators read it as freedom from the marriage obligation after abandonment, and they differ over remarriage. [Married to a non-believer](https://biblenudge.com/blog/married-to-a-non-believer) reads the passage for a mixed marriage.

For being on your own, Bible Nudge offers Psalm 25:16-17, in the World English Bible:

> Turn to me, and have mercy on me, for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged. Oh bring me out of my distresses.

Psalm 25 is a prayer of David asking God for attention, guidance and mercy. In these two verses the speaker describes his own condition and asks God to look at him, and the psalm keeps asking. It gives you words in your own voice for being left, and a request to be turned toward.

Read [Psalm 25:16-17](https://biblenudge.com/context/psalm-25-16-17) aloud once, and hold this question: "If you could ask for one thing to be noticed today, what would it be?"

![A basket of folded children's clothes on a sofa in a lamplit living room](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-divorce-a-sin/the-laundry-basket.jpg)

For company, three services are open to anyone: [DivorceCare](https://www.divorcecare.org/), church-based groups for people who are separated or divorced; [DivorceCare for Kids](https://www.dc4k.org/), for children; and [Celebrate Recovery](https://www.celebraterecovery.com/). If your son or daughter is the one who divorced, [Bible verses for healing after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/bible-verses-for-healing-after-divorce) has a section for parents.

## What lands badly, and what to say instead

Some lines said to divorced people land hard, and you may have said one yourself. Each has a kinder line beside it below, in this site's own wording.

Lines that land hard, and kinder ones

Hover or tap a row to highlight it. Sort by a column heading; a third click puts the rows back in their original order.

|  |  |
| --- | --- |
| "God hates divorce," said with none of the verse's setting | "I'm sorry it ended. You belong here, whatever happened." |
| Matthew 19:9 used as a charge against the spouse who was left | "What happened was not yours alone to carry." |
| "Stay and pray," "submit," or "he'll change" | "Are you safe now?" |
| "You are living in sin" | "However your church counts it, I'm glad you're here." |
| "It was your fault," or "What did you do to make him leave?" | "Marriages end for many reasons, and I'm not here to sort the blame." |
| "Think of the children," used as pressure to stay in danger | "A safe home matters most for the kids. Let's start with safe." |
| "You broke your covenant," said to the spouse who was left | "You chose some of this, and some of it was done to you. Both can be true." |
| "You can't serve now," as a rule for everyone | "Your church may have rules about serving or Communion. Ask them plainly, and I'll come with you." |
| "Go back to your husband" | "You don't have to go anywhere you aren't safe." |
| Any line that says your divorce was, or was not, God's will | "Nobody can say that for you, and I won't try." |

Line people hear"God hates divorce," said with none of the verse's setting

A kinder line (our own wording)"I'm sorry it ended. You belong here, whatever happened."

Line people hearMatthew 19:9 used as a charge against the spouse who was left

A kinder line (our own wording)"What happened was not yours alone to carry."

Line people hear"Stay and pray," "submit," or "he'll change"

A kinder line (our own wording)"Are you safe now?"

Line people hear"You are living in sin"

A kinder line (our own wording)"However your church counts it, I'm glad you're here."

Line people hear"It was your fault," or "What did you do to make him leave?"

A kinder line (our own wording)"Marriages end for many reasons, and I'm not here to sort the blame."

Line people hear"Think of the children," used as pressure to stay in danger

A kinder line (our own wording)"A safe home matters most for the kids. Let's start with safe."

Line people hear"You broke your covenant," said to the spouse who was left

A kinder line (our own wording)"You chose some of this, and some of it was done to you. Both can be true."

Line people hear"You can't serve now," as a rule for everyone

A kinder line (our own wording)"Your church may have rules about serving or Communion. Ask them plainly, and I'll come with you."

Line people hear"Go back to your husband"

A kinder line (our own wording)"You don't have to go anywhere you aren't safe."

Line people hearAny line that says your divorce was, or was not, God's will

A kinder line (our own wording)"Nobody can say that for you, and I won't try."

Posted on Reddit in r/TrueChristian on 2021-12-02, two lines from one person show how the first of these lands: ["I know God doesn’t want divorce."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChristian/comments/r8k1wm/divorcing_my_husband_because_of_sexual_sin/) And then, ["I feel so scared because I know God doesn’t want divorce."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueChristian/comments/r8k1wm/divorcing_my_husband_because_of_sexual_sin/)

## Questions people ask

### Do Christians divorce more than other people?

Barna reporting summarized by [Christian Century](https://www.christiancentury.org/article/2004-10/divorce-rate-no-lower-among-born-again) in 2004 described 35 percent of born-again adults as divorced, compared with 31 percent of other adults. Later Barna reporting used a different sample and reported 32 percent of born-again adults and 30 percent of atheist or agnostic adults as ever divorced. Those figures count whether a person has ever divorced, so they say little about the odds for any one marriage.

### Can a divorced person marry again in church?

It depends on the church. The [Church of England](https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/church-weddings/who-can-marry-church/marriage-after-divorce) says that in certain circumstances a divorced person may marry again in church, after a conversation with the vicar. The [Orthodox Church in America](https://www.oca.org/questions/sacramentmarriage/divorce-and-remarriage) allows a second or third marriage through *economia*, with a penitential service. The Catholic route runs through nullity, and [Is it a sin to remarry after divorce](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-it-a-sin-to-remarry-after-divorce) sets out each.

### Can I still go to church after a divorce?

Catechism paragraph 1651 says divorced people should not consider themselves separated from the church, and asks priests and the community to show attentive care. The Assemblies of God says congregations must show Christ's love and grace. Rules about serving or Communion differ by church, so ask your own plainly.

## Where to go next

If a night feels too heavy, reach a person. In the United States, call [988](tel:988) or text [988](sms:988) at the [988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline](https://988lifeline.org/), with [help in Spanish](https://988lifeline.org/es/obten-ayuda/). In Canada, [9-8-8](https://988.ca/) is the number. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, [Samaritans](https://www.samaritans.org/) is on [116 123](tel:116123). In Australia, [Lifeline](https://www.lifeline.org.au/) is on [13 11 14](tel:131114). In Spain, call [024](tel:024) ([Sanidad](https://www.sanidad.gob.es/)). Everywhere else, including Mexico, Argentina and Colombia, [Find A Helpline](https://findahelpline.com/) lists services by country.

The domestic abuse routes from the top are there too: in the United States the [National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/), in the United Kingdom [Refuge](https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-we-can-help-you/national-domestic-abuse-helpline/), in Canada [ShelterSafe](https://sheltersafe.ca/about/find-help/), in Australia [1800RESPECT](https://www.1800respect.org.au/), in Spain [016](https://violenciagenero.igualdad.gob.es/informacion-3/recursos/telefono016/), in Argentina [Línea 144](https://www.argentina.gob.ar/linea-144), and in Colombia [Línea 155](https://www.policia.gov.co/contenido/llamadas-que-salvan-vidas).

This week, tell one person what happened: a friend, a pastor or a DivorceCare group. Tonight, if you are carrying it alone, pray Psalm 25:16-17 once and hold its question.

[Bible Nudge](https://biblenudge.com/) offers one passage with the verses around it. [Find a passage](https://biblenudge.com/nudge).

## Words that come up here

Tap a term to see what it means.

**Porneia.** The Greek word in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, usually translated "sexual immorality."

**Get.** The written document of a Jewish religious divorce, delivered before a rabbinical court.

**Agunah.** A woman held in a marriage under Jewish law because her husband will not give a get.

**Economia.** In Orthodox teaching, a pastoral exception that can allow a later marriage after a marriage has broken down.

**Declaration of nullity.** A Catholic finding that a valid marriage bond was never formed.

**Pauline privilege.** In Catholic teaching, the use of 1 Corinthians 7:15 for certain marriages with an unbaptized spouse who departs.

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## Related Articles

- [Is It a Sin to Remarry After Divorce?](https://biblenudge.com/blog/is-it-a-sin-to-remarry-after-divorce): Divorced and hoping to marry again, or already remarried? What the Bible says in its setting, what each church allows in its own words, and who to ask.
- [Bible Verses for Healing After Divorce: The Long Aftermath, Malachi 2 in Its Setting, and a Church to Go Back To](https://biblenudge.com/blog/bible-verses-for-healing-after-divorce): Months or years after a divorce: Psalm 34:18 for the hard days, Isaiah 54, Malachi 2 in its setting, and a gentle way back to church.
- [What Does the Bible Say About a Husband Who Mistreats His Wife?](https://biblenudge.com/blog/what-does-the-bible-say-about-a-husband-who-mistreats-his-wife): The Bible's words to husbands, what it says about cruelty and violence, whether abuse without hitting counts, and help lines for the United States, the UK, Canada, Australia, Spain, Mexico and Argentina.